Another Loss Of A Child........

First of all I haven't been on FMO much in the last week or so. I've been sick in bed with a bad Chest cold, went to the doctors, he gave me a couple inhalers and a 5 day antibiotic...feeling totally drained, thank god i'm on the up swing of it.. Feeling better every day!
  My nephew called my parents to tell us his girl friend Emily who had lived upstairs from me on my parents part of the house 2 years ago...Emily had gotten in a car accident 5 days ago March 16th comming home from her Aunts 50th birthday party..It was a hugh heartbreaker, shocker, when my parents told me...She was alone in her new boyfriends truck, she didn't have her seat belts on, she was going around a corner and hit a cement wall..It sounds to me she may of been texting or something, not to sure the details. On the way to the hospital she bled out and died before she got there...I instantly felt sick over it as well of being sick with a cold, I was feeling low thinking of my son Ryan's angel date coming up in April 15th.  This year easter weekend is 2 weeks earlier, March 31st... You Moms who don't know me my Ryan died on easter weekend 7 years ago this easter...Easter hasn't been april 15th since Ryan died...When my children were little, easter was like my favorite holiday, with spring flowers, the sweet smell of easter lilly's, the pretty color cellophane paper, color eggs, buying an outfit to wear for easter day...I need to find the pictures of Ryan and Erica sitting on the floor with their easter baskets when they had chicken pox..It breaks my heart when I look at those easter pictures... Its time to find them and find a way to put them on my photos on FMO.. My printer that scans the pictures so I can put them on my computer is broken... I'm not sure how to do it now its been so long...I get very irritated and exhausted thinking about how to do it....urrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Last year my daughter Erica's girlfriend Leighanne died Memorial Day weekend, May 25, 2012.. Emily died this year a day before St. Patty's Day March 16, 2013...Emily's Mom Lisa use to come into my hair salon for haircuts with Emily when she was a baby... Lisa was pregnant with Emily when I was pregnant with Erica... Emily was born 2 days before Erica... Erica & Emily didn't know each other cuz they didn't go to the same elementry school...When I sold my hair salon 13 years ago, I hadn't seen Emily since she was 8 years old...About 9 years later Erica and her friend Dakota came home after school with Emily and we were talking, I didn't regonize her until I said I use to own Salon 72 and she said her mom Lisa went there and so did she. One of my girls who worked cut their hair at the Salon Teri was related to them by marriage...
Emily is now a 21 year old angel, it breaks my heart to see another mom and her family having to go through what WE  FMO Moms have gone through and all the new moms here on FMO...
I had sent Emily's mom Lisa a few sayings, and told her my experience meeting her precious daughter Em, years later...The time Emily lived with us I saw her mom once, and only said, Hi Lisa how is things going,  and talked alittle... Weird how things happen.. Never knowing down the road I was going to be at her daughters funeral.. Life throws curve balls at us all the time, doesn't it....Anyway, I contact Em's mom lisa on fb, I wanted to support her and family going through this horrific tragedy..I met her family and friends at a restaurant down the street between viewings, the hostest at the restaurant directed me out back to where all the family members were. I sat down next to another girl who went to my salon, she said to me I know you from somewhere and I said YES and YOU are Crystal, and she knew write away who I was... You know, when that happened I felt like I was with family, everyone in the room, most of them anyway, I recognized...Before we all left to go back to the night time wake, anyone who wanted to get up and speak and share stories and their last moments with Emily we did...After I heard a few of them share, I felt, I had to tell them my story and how Emily came back into my life, after all those years... They all knew me and were so happy to see me their...Another woman who I knew, Shiela and her hubby, their 2 grown adult children were their, they were all little children when I last saw them... It was just amazing how fast life has gone on while I was in my own world...I finally felt missed by all these people and Me missing out on their precious lives...Shiela told me she saw what I wrote on fb to Lisa, and she told Lisa she should take me up on getting together with Kelly(me), She is reaching out to you Lisa... I told Shiela I will have to keep reaching out to her, and she agreed..
Another Mom from 2 towns away which is only 10, 15 minutes from me saw my message to Lisa about Emily.. This mom Debbie massaged me about her son Justin who passed away last October 25th, she wanted to tell me if I knew about her son who wrote and sang a song for Ryan on a CD of Ryans.. I told her No I didn't know that..Now we became friends too...It amazes me how much didn't know... I have to focus on helping others,  I want to reach out to them.. My bf always told me someday I will be helping other moms through what I have been through...I know now I am ready to do this... Lately in the last year or so I've been saying I need to volunteer somewhere, helping people in need or at the animal shelter down the road, I just felt it is time... I am already volunteering at an old age daycare place, playing games for a couple hours..
Now my focus is on these moms who need me...as well of Me needing them...I need to tell them that exact thing, I need them just as much...
Erica was very Sad she wasn't able to come home for the services, she had to finish her last week of dental school, she called me last night excited she was done with school and Graduation is April 12th, So I am going to New Jersey for 5 days... It just so happens to be the week of Ryan's angel day.. We can celebrate Erica's graduation and Ryan's angel day all that week... Then the following week Erica & Chris her hubby are going on a cruise for their 1 year wedding anniversary...I am so proud of  Erica for what she has accomplished in the last 4 years...Now they are trying to figure out where they are going to live and start a family in the next 3 or 4 years.. Chris has been applying for jobs in several places, and hoping for being closer to home here in NH.... They have to go where there are openings in aircrafted controller, he also is signing up for the national guards to further his career in being a pilot persistions either fighter jets or Heavy planes like mail flying mail over seas, or what ever, he has a open mind which is awesome... I love him, he is an awesome son inlaw, and a awesome husband to Erica!!!
Lots of Love and heart to heart hugs to all,
Kelly, Ryans Mom!!!!!!