Another Lazy Day
I just let myself relax today... I didn't go with Geo to his dad's house... I wasn't up to the yelling and screaming that goes along with the football game, especially since I didn't sleep well last night and I had a migraine when I woke up this morning. The game was exciting, though.. I watched the end of it while I was waiting to see when it would be over so I knew when to expect Geo to come home. It was a good end of the game, and the Giants won, which made Geo and his family happy. I was happy about it because I knew it made them happy. I don't really care about football anymore.. I cared about USC when I was in college, since it was my school and I wanted to have school spirit. Plus, USC was in the golden age of football (which came back to bite us, since there were things going on behind the scenes that we didn't know about that were against the rules) in 2001-2004. After 2004 I was so caught up in my own illnesses and stuff that I didn't have time to think about football anymore for the most part. I did have fun going to the games and stuff, but my anxiety prevented me from going in later years. I wish I could go back to the games now, but they are too far away.
Today I just lay in bed most of the day, talking on the phone and going online. I didn't even go for my walk, even though it was beautiful outside. I opened the window and let the air in for a while, but that's about it. I just wanted a break from my life, and that's what I got. It was nice. I go back to volunteering tomorrow, and I have to go in early to relieve Nadine for lunch. I wanted a day to myself, where I just did what I wanted and nothing else. I did cook, but like I always say I do that every night so it's second nature, I don't even notice it. Tonight we had chicken with macaroni and cheese. I wanted the mac and cheese, so that's what I cooked. I think it's good... so that's what I did. I should have made corn or something else to go with it, since I was still a bit hungry after eating dinner, but oh well. I didn't feel like making corn.
Mood today was good, especially since I just did what I wanted. I barely got out of bed, but I don't consider that a bad thing on some days. When it becomes a habit that's bad, but when you do it once in a while it's fine. I hope I sleep tonight, since I had trouble sleeping last night. I didn't take a nap this afternoon (one of the few things I denied myself of today) because I wanted to be able to sleep tonight. I did take an early nap around noon, or you could consider that part of my nightly sleep if you wanted. Either way, sleep was okay. The nap was better... the nap was the good sleep I got. I had nightmares last night... Geo was in Toronto, trapped in a burning hotel room while I was at my step-dad’s house in LA doing chores. I felt hopeless to help him, and I wanted to be there with him. In the dream I didn't ever want to leave him again. I guess I was worried about him going over to his dad's alone, even though it's just down the street. I was worried if I didn't go with him, something bad was going to happen to him and that was going to be it.
To answer the question that was asked to me yesterday, yes my stepdad doesn't want me to go to LA to see him, he wants me to take the job. He takes jobs and stuff very seriously, and he knows this is a good opportunity for me. Still, I want to see my family and that's more important to me. Even though he already sent me the money for the ticket, he would rather see me stay here in Miami and get a job than to go see him. He's selfless like that... he only wants what's best for me. He's a good man like that. I talked to my Nana today, and that made me want to go to LA even more... she's not doing well and she can't hear me when I call her, so to talk to her and say goodbye I want to do it in person.
Food I already talked about above, and same with sleep. Mood was good, since it was just a lazy, me day. I just took care of myself, and that was nice. Stress was low, since I was just doing nothing all day. I did get a bout of stress watching the game and seeing the scores change so fast (there were 4 changes in who was winning in the time I was watching) but it was the good kind of stress. I wanted the Giants to win, and they did, so that's what matters. Overall, a good, lazy day where I just lounged around and was a bump on a log! I deserved it after the busy day yesterday.
Today I just lay in bed most of the day, talking on the phone and going online. I didn't even go for my walk, even though it was beautiful outside. I opened the window and let the air in for a while, but that's about it. I just wanted a break from my life, and that's what I got. It was nice. I go back to volunteering tomorrow, and I have to go in early to relieve Nadine for lunch. I wanted a day to myself, where I just did what I wanted and nothing else. I did cook, but like I always say I do that every night so it's second nature, I don't even notice it. Tonight we had chicken with macaroni and cheese. I wanted the mac and cheese, so that's what I cooked. I think it's good... so that's what I did. I should have made corn or something else to go with it, since I was still a bit hungry after eating dinner, but oh well. I didn't feel like making corn.
Mood today was good, especially since I just did what I wanted. I barely got out of bed, but I don't consider that a bad thing on some days. When it becomes a habit that's bad, but when you do it once in a while it's fine. I hope I sleep tonight, since I had trouble sleeping last night. I didn't take a nap this afternoon (one of the few things I denied myself of today) because I wanted to be able to sleep tonight. I did take an early nap around noon, or you could consider that part of my nightly sleep if you wanted. Either way, sleep was okay. The nap was better... the nap was the good sleep I got. I had nightmares last night... Geo was in Toronto, trapped in a burning hotel room while I was at my step-dad’s house in LA doing chores. I felt hopeless to help him, and I wanted to be there with him. In the dream I didn't ever want to leave him again. I guess I was worried about him going over to his dad's alone, even though it's just down the street. I was worried if I didn't go with him, something bad was going to happen to him and that was going to be it.
To answer the question that was asked to me yesterday, yes my stepdad doesn't want me to go to LA to see him, he wants me to take the job. He takes jobs and stuff very seriously, and he knows this is a good opportunity for me. Still, I want to see my family and that's more important to me. Even though he already sent me the money for the ticket, he would rather see me stay here in Miami and get a job than to go see him. He's selfless like that... he only wants what's best for me. He's a good man like that. I talked to my Nana today, and that made me want to go to LA even more... she's not doing well and she can't hear me when I call her, so to talk to her and say goodbye I want to do it in person.
Food I already talked about above, and same with sleep. Mood was good, since it was just a lazy, me day. I just took care of myself, and that was nice. Stress was low, since I was just doing nothing all day. I did get a bout of stress watching the game and seeing the scores change so fast (there were 4 changes in who was winning in the time I was watching) but it was the good kind of stress. I wanted the Giants to win, and they did, so that's what matters. Overall, a good, lazy day where I just lounged around and was a bump on a log! I deserved it after the busy day yesterday.
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