Another First!

Dear John Howard:  Well I did it and survived!  I have not driven to New Orleans in over 25 years because you went everywhere with me or one of my girls.  So today I had to drive there to bring my 23 yr.old baby (LOL).  We made it there and back in one piece.  First time I go through a surgery with one of my kids without their dad.  But a great guy who happens to be a little bit younger kept checking on the two of us to make sure she was ok.  Her blood pressure dropped pretty low but he was my rock thank God!  She is now home and recovering.  And I am now planning my next road trip.  Can hardly wait.  I am starting to realize that there is nothing you can't do as long as you try.  I had lost all my confidence in doing things by myself and I am regaining it a little at a time.  Two more first coming up next week My Birthday and Thanksgiving.  I have survived each and everyone  of my first John's Birthday, Kids Birthdays, Grandkids Birthdays, Holidays, Anniversary and each one of them was an amazing day.  Not what I would have expected but I am sure he is watching over us.  My sister told me of an amazing dream she had about you a couple of nights ago.  She said you told her you came back to check on me and spend some time with me.  She said you were worried about me and wanted me to be happy, sounds just like you.  She told me what you had on and even recognized your shirt.  We both did some crying but she said it was  truly an amazing dream seemed so real and was very upset when she woke up.  My life as I once knew it is no longer but I am looking forward to new adventures and memories.  I know you wouldn't want me to give up on living you loved life and enjoyed every minute of it so in your memory I will give it my best shot and make you proud of the woman I am becoming.  So I may have had only 32 years with you but they were the best 32 years of my life.  I may have 30 years with someone else who knows and I will make the best of each and every day because no one is promised tomorrow so I will start living today. Until we are back in each others arms.   Love always, Dra'