another discussion
Husband still has an issue. Even though he apologized for overriding me ~ he still has an issue about "my decision". What he failed to say is that we talked about it beforehand so it isn't as if I came up with it on my own. Sure it was my idea but he didn't disagree at the time we discussed it ~ he just changed his mind. He did because he said the circumstances changed.
That said ~ I think we came to a better understanding. But I'm not sure. All I know is after I explained to him why "my" decision is very important that we stick by it ~ he seemed to get it.
Our son, not all his fault, has put me through the ringer. My son's decisions are affecting me. It's not just about him living with his decisions he's made ~ it's about me. It's about my husband, too. It's about me driving our son back and forth to all his appointments, it's about us paying extra medical bills. It's about having to pay for the repairs on dents our son has made on our car. It's about having to replace a glass lamp dome for the second time within a few months. It's about my sanity.
And then - when trying to do this ~ I get the silent treatment and disrespect from my son. How about my husband making a strong stance on this? Telling him firmly that our son's bad behavior will NOT be tolerated?
Just venting. No pain ~ no gain. I hope we made some progress and that my husband will once again will not forget our conversation?
That said ~ I think we came to a better understanding. But I'm not sure. All I know is after I explained to him why "my" decision is very important that we stick by it ~ he seemed to get it.
Our son, not all his fault, has put me through the ringer. My son's decisions are affecting me. It's not just about him living with his decisions he's made ~ it's about me. It's about my husband, too. It's about me driving our son back and forth to all his appointments, it's about us paying extra medical bills. It's about having to pay for the repairs on dents our son has made on our car. It's about having to replace a glass lamp dome for the second time within a few months. It's about my sanity.
And then - when trying to do this ~ I get the silent treatment and disrespect from my son. How about my husband making a strong stance on this? Telling him firmly that our son's bad behavior will NOT be tolerated?
Just venting. No pain ~ no gain. I hope we made some progress and that my husband will once again will not forget our conversation?
Replies
It sounds like he\'s gotten a little crazy and overwhelmed too. And abdicating responsibility is when he calls it \'your decision\'. If you can find something he\'s said or done that you can truly respect and give him credit for that, maybe you can start finding unity from there.
I don\'t know. It\'s hard to say from here, but it\'s important to find a way to be a united front with J.
And working toward an understanding is keeping the doors open for you both. Go ahead and vent. But life will keep happening anyway, and I hope you and husb. can go thru this together.
I can hear the fatigue there; you need your husband\'s support......
For a while in the 80s, there were parenting gurus out there who said the marriage comes first and the kids second. And also such things as \'give the kids a healthy dose of vitamin N (for no)\'. I wasn\'t real great at implementing that stuff, but it sort of helped when I did have to say no to them.