another death
I am beyond being overwhelmed with grief first my aunt who was like my second mom then my dad and now another aunt 3 in one year it is just too much I feel that I am barely holding on by a thread I dont know how to keep going at this point and the pressure to get everything done is unbareable also I feel completely alone in this world I feel like the air is being sucked out of my lungs I feel that i no longer can be a wife or mother. I cant stop crying. we have basically lost our insurance there is no support out there how am i suppose to go on I think i am finally broken....if there is a god he gave me more than i can handle i think i am going to divorce my husband i just dont want to be around anyone i hate having to take care of him emotionally too right now i am so resentful and sad and angry. and my daughters are train wrecks too i just cant be a mom anymore or a wife. i am done with that i may have to leave for awile. i may just have to leave and just be alone for a few months
Replies
Time for self-care. Begin to invest in caring for your needs - now - and begin letting go and breathing. Focus on what you CAN DO something about and let the rest go for right now. Just breathe and let go and begin caring for YOU.
We cannot care about others if we are going around with unmet needs for self-care. Get selfish and take very good care of you and over time you will have plenty of energy that is needed to give care to others but unless you are well cared for yourself you will be too crushed to be of any real help to anyone else.
Self-care time; breathe and let go of what you can do nothing about.
Gentle ((hugs))
:-) Patricia
jat07 there is no way you are going to out run the grief you feel about the loss of the three people you love and there is no time off from being a mother you can divorce your husband but it wont solve the problem and it is a poor excuse to want to do that now if you look at the grief cycle the first thing it says is do not make any big decisions when you are suffering from grief because you are not thinking straight i am sorry to sound cold hearted here but i can under stand the leaving the husband but i do not understand leaving children when they are in crisis that is just morally wrong to me and yes that is part of one of my issues but there are people that would die to be where you are and to take care of your daughters because they could not have kids and being a mother is not a on one time and off the next you are messing with peoples lives here jat07 and i know you need to step back and take time for yourself but have you heard of taking a trip alone for a day or a week to help yourself but to do something as drastic as you are talking of leaving your kids and husband for good that is the grief talking and i have been thru this many times because all the deaths in my family runs in 3\'s or 6\'s at a time you will handle this and you are a strong person and it is time for a reality check go to your regular funeral home and ask them for a grief packet and read the pamphlets and go online and look up grief cycle and realize that this to is part of the circle of grief and there is different stages but you got to realize that your husband and girls are also in their own grief circles too over the loss of those same people and you have to understand that things will get better and you will live thru all this and God will never give you more then you can stand and he knows you better then you know yourself because he knows the soul and the heart as it should and could be so yes i agree at times it seems over whelming what he sends your way to handle but he knows and trusts you and knows you can handle it we dont always handle it in the right way but he helps us threw the hard time like this
so i am sorry if what i have writen has offended you in any way but you can take care of you and still take care of your daughters one thing i like to do is to put epsin salts and bubble bath in a bath tub but light candles and place them around the tube and put a drop of your favorit scents in the top of the wax in the candles and let the fire glow and it will defuse the smell up into the room and you can lay there and think and contemplate about what you want for your self and keep a towel and a tablet by the tub and just let your mind relax and think and run free but there is one other thing you can do to help yourself relax is rind a song or cd or a sound like running water or crickets or birds singing in the trees anything like this that will help you relax and get the musick that has that sound on it and put it in the cd player and then tell the family this is your time and sit down somewhere you know you can be alone and play the music and let your mind go free and just write down don\'t worry about spelling or mistakes just write what pops into your mind and breath in a positive thought and out a negative thought and breath slow and easy but not fast and you will be surprised how much it will relieve the stressers of life and of grief and death friends always lauri45
thank you Patricia and Lauri I appreciate the thoughts.