Another Day WITHOUT YOU HERE

Stevan,
 
Another day has gone by without you here with us and it seems to be taking a toll on me more each day.  I cried off and on today missing you.  I try to keep from breaking down so much in front of Casey as she is having a harder time also.  I laid with her again tonite til she fell asleep, she misses her Daddy SO much.  I don't know what to say to her when she says you didn't want to go to Heaven yet. I tried the God needed him up there in Heaven bit but she isn't buying that anymore, or probably never did.  I don't know how to make her better or understand this whole hell we are going through.  I am going to start a support group a week from Monday to hopefully help me figure all this out I will ask if they have something for Casey and Kyle although he seems to be doing OK right now, he talks to Dennis and Chris about you and I know he is hurting but is doing OK.  Casey is who I worry about I may have to find out from the county if they have support groups for people with disabilities that can help her in her level,  I miss you Stevan more than words can say and I don't know what to do, you are the reason I love my life, your are the reason I wanted to have children, you made me feel like a beautiful person even tough I am not a beauty queen and I don't wear make-up, never have and never will but you made me feel Beautiful and I thank you for loving me for who I am the total Tomboy that I am.  you know I never liked to dress up, go out dancing, I hated dancing, but I would do it with you once in a awhile cause I know you did,  you were my everything, and still are my dear Stevie Boy.  I miss you, I love you I just want to touch you 1 more time and hold you.  I wish I would have a dream of you, I haven't yet I am hoping it will happen soon, I need to see you.
I hope you are OK where ever you are, that it is a beautiful place and you are happy and loved
I LOVE YOU STEVAN
ALWAYS & ALWAYS
FOREVER & EVER
LAUR

Replies

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deleted_user

Maybe making these fitting tributes to Steven, is your way of letting go, not that youll ever forget him, god no but your saying your goodbyes.