Another Day in Hell

I have now been searching for a new group of docs for over a month.  I'm now out of all medicines for all my diagosed issues with no end in sight.  I have finally had contact with the local hospital clinics that I need but cannot be seen until sometime in September.  I fear that another heart attack , or worse a stroke will occur before then.  Currently my BP is 220/147 and climbing.   Nothing has stayed down in days, I haven't slept for more that a couple of hours since I don't remember when.  What do you do when everything is going wrong.  When you feel like there is no way out for you.  I swear, if it weren't for these 2 wonderful boys living with me, I'm not sure I'd make it through.  Their father has abandonded them so I'm all they have.  What do you do when being a mom is almost not enough to save you?