Another day, another issue

I found out today that your ex wife (who is executor of his will) is heading to the house upstate this weekend. The house where we were married and you were killed tryign to repair it after the hurricane.I always knew that you were leaving the upstate property to your sons and i always agreed. I didnt know that they would come and take my keys away from me and not allow me to even visit, let alone get my things out of the house? You know I still have the lighted archway from our wedding up in our bedroom. She will probably have a huge bonfire and burn all of my things. I dont get how your boys can come here to this house and go through the closets and drawers for all of your tools, jewelry and belongings that they wanted, yet I cannot have a simple thing like an archway!
I know that they are just "things" but I feel like my heart is being torn from chest once again. I will never ever see the water running in the stream around the house again. We will never sit out on the deck and watch the deer walk around the house and hear nothing but silence~ I feel angry at you and that is not right. Why did you not take the time this year to add my name to the will. You kept putting it off since you were busy with upstate repairs and now I have lost all of our memories from up there.
Why is your exwife always out to get me? You said she is very jealous of me but why? I did not cause your divorce...we met after you were already in another apartment of your own. Can you not just feel the pain I am in and have a heart already. What happened to my step sons...Joe always warned me that if he died they would eat me alive and I never believed it...why is this happening..