Another CNA Problem!

Friday, July 3, 2009 - 1:35 PM   This has not been a good day for me. I am practically furious with one of the CNA's who helps me get up in the mornings and go to bed at night. Before I was even out of bed this morning, she accused me of causing trouble between her and one other CNA who works at night with her. Her accusation was a complete lie. I told her that I needed to talk with her and the other CNA tonight when they came to put me to bed.   Earlier in the week, this CNA told me (while in the presence of another person) that the reason she is late coming here almost every night is because when she arrives the other CNA and I are sitting in my living room watching TV, and she does not like waiting on us. Although she told this to me, for some reason she chose not to tell the other CNA about it. I took it upon myself to do that yesterday morning.   After the two CNA's put me to bed last night, and left, they apparently discussed the situation briefly in the hallway outside my apartment. I am sure that I do not have the whole story yet. Tonight I intend to discuss the entire situation with both CNA's because the one I talked with this morning now says that the other CNA told her that I said the comments were directed solely to her. That was a lie!   This CNA who came here this morning also said that she was told I had complained about her leaving in a hurry each night. That was true. I am entitled to have both of them here for one hour each night. Their own agency has informed me that they are supposed to spend at least 15 minutes with me, if not more. I did tell the CNA that even though I thought they left too quickly, I never tried keeping them in my apartment longer than necessary.   She also said that she had told me a few months ago that she had another client to see after me, at 10:30. She said she asked me if she could be away from my apartment by then, in order for her to take care of that client and then get home by 11. She added that she said if she could not do that, then she would have to drop me as a client. I vaguely remember discussing it with her. Even if I had agreed to that, how could she come here at 9:30, spend up to an hour with me if necessary, then go to the other client at 10:30, spend an hour with him, and get back to her home by 11? It is impossible.   Until now, this has been my best CNA. Recently, she has been very moody in both the mornings and nights, and has failed to show up some nights and mornings without notifying the other CNA, the home healthcare agency, or me.   Although I do not want to lose this CNA, I am not prepared to let her twist my words around any way she wants. If she wants to continue working with me, she will have to become more responsible, and not expect me to let her do her work hurriedly because when that happens, so do mistakes.   This has been another example of how just when I begin starting to feel that my life is getting back into some type of proper order, something comes up unexpectedly to ruin almost everything. I will not let this continue happening. If I cannot manage to bring this to some kind of satisfactory conclusion during the weekend, I am seriously considering going to the home healthcare agency next week, and talking to the owner and director of nursing personally.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

\"This has been another example of how just when I begin starting to feel that my life is getting back into some type of proper order, something comes up unexpectedly to ruin almost everything.\"

You said it so well!!

I think that is why some sense of safety and healing is so vital for us, Jim. If we don\'t try and heal and gather some power then we just get walked on over, and over, and over.

This miscommunication is wrong. It\'s not necessary and it\'s not helpful to anyone.

You have logic on your side. You are right and you deserve proper care. It is their duty to provide it and I\'m glad you are going to remind them of that. I believe people need reminders when they get off track.

Keep us posted!
deleted_user
deleted_user

I am so sorry to hear that you are having so much trouble with the CNA\'s. If the problems continue can you use a different agency?
JimK
JimK

Sam, I just got to the point recently of feeling safe and secure with this team of people, and now everything has just blown all apart. It has made me extremely unhappy, and if my life is going to continue like this, then I am not sure that I want to go on living much longer.

You probably cannot guess how much trust I placed in the person who I now feel is causing me these problems. Because of things that happened to me in my past, it is very difficult for me to place trust in anyone, yet, this person entered my life and I came to feel that she truly cared about me. She has a young daughter with a disability, so I somehow felt that in some way she knew about the importance that good care meant to me because surely she would want that for her daughter.

In a short span of time, I have now grown to distrust this person. In fact, today I have almost grown to hate her, which is not part of my nature. Until now, I can only remember hating one person in my life, and that is a man who fired me from a job just because I had a disability.

Each time I say to myself that things cannot get much worse, they always do. I have the right to go to another agency, but prefer not to do that because there are still some people helping me who I like.

This unpleasantness has just got to stop. I deserve some happiness in life -- I think.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I agree with you wholeheartedly, Jim. You do deserve some happiness.

I think you are catastrophising here, which is totally understandable considering how many times you\'ve been let down in the past.

Perhaps something is going on for this CNA that is causing her to act irresponsible. I think that because you were able to trust her in the past and trust is something that doesn\'t come easy for you that it\'s worth it to try and approach this from a caring perspective.

You are the hero in this situation, I think. Sometimes people get so wrapped up in their own lives that they forget what is really important. Try not to expect the worst because it might not happen. I think that your plan to discuss is a very good one. Try to focus on the trust you used to have for her and see if it can be salvaged with a discussion.

I hope I don\'t sound trite. I know these are very big problems.

((HUGS))
deleted_user
deleted_user

I agree with you, take this to a higher level.
These people do not realize how important it is for disabled individuals that depend on personal assistance to have conscientious and reliable care givers.

You are all fired up and rightly so.
I know you will find a resolution in this matter.
This unfortunately seems to be part and parcel of all health care agencies.
Your frustration is understandable.
deleted_user
deleted_user

What Sam said the second time.

Hugs and Mojo
Weebs