Another beautiful day in Paradise
Well I called my family doctor to ask for advice about my crown(still haven't found it!).Boy I make everyone's day with my story. My doctor is older than me and even over the bad connection on my cell I could tell he could hardly keep from laughing! First thing he said was "Now years ago I had a lot of patients swallow unusual things like crowns and teeth, but that was when I worked pediatrics! Now I am in gerontology and I never hear these stories any more."So I am to stop worrying about it, it has already come out or will very soon. Well we shall see!
I don't know if anyone who reads this has had this come up, but I am realizing that it has been 3 years almost, since I had to leave home and over a year since the final divorce and I have not dated or seen anyone. I keep seeing on TV, etc., these dating sites for seniors. So I went to a couple of sites to look around. Well they allowed me to in put my info for free and then show you some matches, but some of them to actually connect you have to purchase a membership. Not only am I afraid of meeting some weirdo, I can't stop thinking of my ex. I keep looking to see if he is on any of these sites. I keep wondering who he is seeing or is he seeing anyone. He is the one that told me he didn't want me in his life anymore and told me I couldn't come home, but I still love him. Why am I doing this to myself. I know it is wrong and sick. The man has treated me like dirt...married or not married. But I still feel like there is hope some day. I keep thinking maybe we can be friends or even more. And when I read the stories from these dating sites, I am drawn to what my ex liked, or talked about doing when I first met him. I was reading about a guy that was 5 years short of being born in Norway and thinking I wonder if he is like my ex. My ex was Norwegian and Russian. Why do I care? I don't have his last name anymore and I am NOT Norwegian. But I think gee I wonder if he is like R? So I guess to answer my own question "No I am not ready to date yet". But when will I be? I really think all though it will kill me for a while, knowing that the ex is dating will help bring a finality or closure to this part of my life. I don't want to do that , but I know I should. I know it will be better for me, but I just hate the thought.
So will let you all know when and if I ever actually use a dating site and if I ever actually go on a date or meet any kind of a male. Ha Ha . I guess that is it for tonight.
I don't know if anyone who reads this has had this come up, but I am realizing that it has been 3 years almost, since I had to leave home and over a year since the final divorce and I have not dated or seen anyone. I keep seeing on TV, etc., these dating sites for seniors. So I went to a couple of sites to look around. Well they allowed me to in put my info for free and then show you some matches, but some of them to actually connect you have to purchase a membership. Not only am I afraid of meeting some weirdo, I can't stop thinking of my ex. I keep looking to see if he is on any of these sites. I keep wondering who he is seeing or is he seeing anyone. He is the one that told me he didn't want me in his life anymore and told me I couldn't come home, but I still love him. Why am I doing this to myself. I know it is wrong and sick. The man has treated me like dirt...married or not married. But I still feel like there is hope some day. I keep thinking maybe we can be friends or even more. And when I read the stories from these dating sites, I am drawn to what my ex liked, or talked about doing when I first met him. I was reading about a guy that was 5 years short of being born in Norway and thinking I wonder if he is like my ex. My ex was Norwegian and Russian. Why do I care? I don't have his last name anymore and I am NOT Norwegian. But I think gee I wonder if he is like R? So I guess to answer my own question "No I am not ready to date yet". But when will I be? I really think all though it will kill me for a while, knowing that the ex is dating will help bring a finality or closure to this part of my life. I don't want to do that , but I know I should. I know it will be better for me, but I just hate the thought.
So will let you all know when and if I ever actually use a dating site and if I ever actually go on a date or meet any kind of a male. Ha Ha . I guess that is it for tonight.
Replies
You will be ready, when you know that you can remain true to yourself, get out of an unhealthy situation and be open to a positive relationship. Until then, let\'s enjoy what we do have, live in the moment and let tomorrow worry about tomorrow!
Shortly after returning to the US after I was a PCV, one of my friends let me know she had been diagnosed with bilharzia, tropical snail borne disease from Lake Malawi. I was in the midwest with no idea what doctor I could ask about Bilharzia with any knowledge. I was working in a university hospital and one of the doctors in the department was originally Zambian, so I asked him. I also remember his chuckle saying \'\'wow, it has been a really long time since anyone has asked me about bilharzia!\'\'
I\'m sorry but your crown still gives me my first laugh of the day. As far as dating I\'m not really one to give advice.
But I will say that you need to get yourself in a better situation before you even consider that. As long as you still think of the ex you are not ready. Be careful some of those sites aren\'t reputable.
You need some money coming in, and to feel secure with yourself before you should even think about dating. I find that when you\'re not looking is when you find someone to be in your life.
I may never date. I\'m still tied to the ex and this farm and I just don\'t have the desire or the time to think about anyone else in my life. After he ex; I don\'t hate men but. I think I\'ll leave the rest of that sentence alone.
What I have been considering trying are joining one of those meetup groups or I have recently also seen a sign about singles dances in my city, and so thought I may sometime give one of those a try. That way I could test the water so to speak without having to be on a date with someone specific. I would think it would be less scary and stressful because I could just leave and go home if I found I was not enjoying it and not really ready to be out there meeting new people and socialising. Just an idea.
03/09/2011 9:45am
Three years seems like a long time, but when they have been years of struggling, hardships, health issues and all those other emotions it really doesn\'t seem long enough. Unless you feel you are ready, you\'re not ready.
I don\'t think I\'ll ever be ready, and I\'m very sad about that, but I don\'t know what the future holds.
I\'ve told my family about your crown and even Noreen (kids Mom) since she is a dentist. I don\'t think a day has gone by when someone hasn\'t asked me about my friend, and if she has found her crown yet. Yes, we do laugh about it, but we also are concerned.
I think when you do finally find this crown and get it placed in you mouth, where it should be, you have to go to the dollar store and buy a crown and wear it on your head all day. I\'m sure it will make you feel like a queen and it will also be your own private secret and make you smile all day.
GeoQ you really are the best. I am so happy that your family gets a laugh out of my story, for whatever reason I feel good about it. I don\'t really want your family to be concerned about me, as that is not an issue anymore. I really trust my Doctor W and he if says not to worry, than I won\'t worry about it anymore. It becomes just a funny story again! Yes I know I am not ready to date yet and don\'t know if I ever will be, I guess I was just venting and trying to find a fun thing to look forward too. I get really lonely sometimes especially when I read how lonely everyone else is. I also read how others are moving on and seem happy with their new lives and I want to be in a better place. But when my head clears I know I am better off taking it slow and knowing I am really healed and in a better place before I take on something new. So thanks for all your advice and concern. I have always been a little impatient with life, nothing seems to move at a comfortable pace for me. Either it is too fast or too slow. And I guess that tells me I am not ready to move on yet, I am still sick in some way. Again Thanks everyone for your concern and help.