Another bad day...

Starting off the day bad already. Seems I only write in here when I'm having a bad day, which is alright I guess, helps me release some tension and not do anything bad like I used to. Hubby woke up this morning, not speaking to me, we went to bed last night fine, or so I thought. He wanted to have sex but we were both tired and sore from working out and stuff all day so neither of us wanted to do the work lol. BUT, i thought everything was fine, apparently it wasn't. I feel like because of what I did, when he wants it, I HAVE to give it to him, and sometimes, I feel he feels the same way, that I OWE him or something, so if I don't give it to him, it's cause I'm "saving" myself for someone else, or that I don't find him attractive. But that isn't the case. I'm tired. Just as he is. He usually jokes, or I think hes joking, when he says I'm saving myself for someone else cause I don't find him attractive. He knows that is so not the case. This didn't happen cause I'm not attracted to him, or because he didn't satisfy me, he knows he does. I just killed his self esteem so he's needing constant reassurance. He knows he's hot, he gets hit on all the time, he just doesn't see it. I guess I'm just upset cause he won't talk to me.