Another lb

Down to 103 lbs.  I am feeling VERY depressed.  I was up for hours in the middle of the night with diarrhea.  It's so painful.  I do not have the energy to take care of my kids, but yet I had them yesterday and all day today.  I ate eggs this morning although I know I probably shouldn't have.  I was just SO hungry!  I'm starting to wonder if I should just say screw the SCD and just get as many calories in.....just anything that sounds good!  Should I just be drinking Ensure right now?  Chicken noodle soup?  A baked potato?  All the things that are a big no no on SCD.  I am still feeling VERY alone.  My GI doctor in out of the office all week.  I'm meeting with my family doctor at 1:40 this afternoon.  I have no idea if he'll be able to do anything for my but I just figured I should go see someone.  Maybe he'll atleast give me some more pain medicine.  When my diarrhea is this bad I have so much pain in my lower back.  Maybe it's from hunching over.  Who knows?  Pain pills also help with the horrible cramping.  I literally have chills  everytime I go to the bathroom.  When NO ONE around me really understands the SCD, including doctors, it's so hard to stay on it.  Especially when I am having NO relief.  But yet I'VE read all about it and I understand what these disaccharide and polysaccharide sugars are doing to my intestines.  I have everything in the fridge to make another batch of chicken soup and it just doesn't even sound good.  Still craving that SpongeBob Mac & Cheese.....and yes it has to be SpongeBob :o).  So, I am not having much sucess with a positive attidude.  I go back and forth but when I am this helpless/useless it's so hard to stay positive.  I do have to say I have a WONDERFUL family and the BEST boyfriend.....but it's still so hard.  I am depressed and scared.