Annoyed at myself!! *#$(#$! for being impulsive!

Ok- i'm starting to get peeved at myself bIG TIME. Being easter, I ate my weight in choc pretty much but on top of that I felt that I didn't have to but went ahead with it till it got out of control.  I slipped into depression again and dyed my hair and shaved my head.  This is basically an outward expression of how i feel internally - horirble. I now look even worse and am going to have to wear a hat for months and months...  I'm carrying around all this inner turmoil about my boyfriend who has panic attacks and the disappointment in our relatinship that we can't go 'out' and have social lives togehter as well as him looking at porn. That was a year ago now but it just feel so relevant in the pain of the deception. I can't tell him about either of these things because I don't know how irrational i'm being and therefore - don't like to make a big fuss and feel worse for it later. I hate this. and I want a wig lol. Stupid impulsivity