anniversary of the first rape........
so today/tonight is the third anniervsary of M's rape......i went to work this morning and was anxious the whole time....i couldn't stand to be touched even by my coworkers....they knew what i was going through and how i was feeling....i woke up this morning and it took me 10 minutes to gather up the courage to leave my bedroom, 5 minutes to leave the bathroom and 15 minutes to leave my apartment.....after work i went and rented some movies, got some lunch then deposited a check.....after that i came home and locked myself in my apartment....i closed all the blinds so no one can see in.....i'm so scared....i know i'll get little sleep tonight.....my dinner will be pizza delivered......my friend was SUPPOSED to come over tonight, but she ditched me for a book signing....and i know i shouldn't be fazed by it, but i'm kinda angry about it...i mean a person's life and well being should be more important than a book....i dunno, maybe i'm being stupid, but i'm just having a tough time as does anyone on their anniversary....
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Hey sweetie. I understand how you are feeling I have been there I am still not over what happened to me back in 2007
I don\'t remember my anniversaries specifically but I go manic every October. PTSD is much worse starting Sept. I think it\'s already leveling off. I have recovered memories lately of being raped at age 17, 18, & 19. After the childhood abuse had stopped. I thought of you with each memory. How outrageous it is to be young and alone and hurting so much. It\'s terrible, I remember. I\'m so sorry sweetie for your pain. I would take it from you if I could. I hope you find life affirming things in life too. I sounds like your co-workers understand. I\'m thinking good thoughts for you and really wishing much of the pain will go away and you can find some good thing in life to cherish.