Anniversary coming up :(

Wow on top of the holidays I am dealing with what would have been our 7yr anniversay together.  I miss him soooo much that I find it hard to breath at times.  He was looking forward to this time of year as Aubrey is so excited about Christmas and hhe himself was a kid.  I know I have to put all my thoughts into her this year but I find myself slipping back into that dark place where all I want to do is cry.   I was doing so well  for a while,  I just need his strenght and I am not getting it.  We placed his head stone yesterday which was so hard as it was another reminder to me that he is really gone and will not be back.  How can this be happening after everything we have went through in our short time together.  it was our time to be happy, we had our family and now it is gone.  I just miss him so much God please give me the strength to make it