angry, furious, irritable, the list goes on

I am in a state of extreme agitation.  My head is edgy and making me extremely irritable and unhappy.  I hate these withdrawals.  I would give anything to be dizzy again and feel like crap rather than like this.  I fly off at the slightest little thing.  I want people to leave me alone.  I just want to sleep and wake up feeling normal again.  UGH!  I hate that I am addicted to this medication and to get off of it I am going thru hell.  Pharmaceutical companies are no better than the drug dealers on the streets.  They get us hooked on these drugs with the help of our pusher docotrs and then leave us to deal with the misery when we want off of them.  
I just want to no longer take any meds. I want to live without all those chemicals in my system.  the only way to feel any better is going to be getting on another anti depressant ...then I have to deal with getting off of that one?  I really don't want to do that either.  I guess if i can make it thru this without hurting anyone...that will be a major milestone.  
***well, now to update. I went in to work and left right away.  I was so agitated that  I knew it would not be a good idea to stay.  I called my supervisor and told her that I was extremely agitated and irritable and felt like I could hurt someone.  So, the bosses called me this evening and wanted to know what I was going to do now.   they felt like I was making a direct threat to someone in particular.  Yes, it is no secret I hate a certain person there.  However,  whomever was in my path at the time of my wrath would have been on the receiving end of it.  Not necessarily that person...I am ready to hand in my resignation.  They want a doctor's release for me to come back.  They are all in fear for themselves...LOL.  Really, I have to laugh at that.  If I wanted to hurt anyone I would have stayed at work and made it happen.  I don't want that and thus removed myself from the misery of it all.  I looked at what I have in retirement.  If I leave there and cash out the retirement I could pay off my bills and put the rest in my other retirement plan.  I can get unemployment and look for something that will be less of a miserable place to work.  I know there are no decent jobs out there.  I know that the market is horrible.  Now, with the problems I have faced in my current employment, I am sure to get a horrible recommendation from them.  
I called my doc again.  The nurse told me to take my gabapentin as it will sedate me.  Then the doc is to call me in the morning with what he wants me to do.  If I should feel like I am going to hurt myself or others then I need to go to the ER.  
I have been drinking chamomile tea to calm myself down.  It works ok.  I feel a bit calmer and that is a good thing.  I could not get the agitation to leave me.  I used a phenergen last night to sleep.  I want to stop using drugs but have to use these to calm myself down.  What a vicious cycle.   
I just need to do the old pro and con list of staying at my job and leaving.  I am sure I will be told and rightly so I am sure that I need to make that decision when I am in a clearer state of mind.  Honestly, I think this is probably the clearest state.  I know how I feel and want it to just stop.  Leaving work would be one of the biggest de stressors that  I could do for myself.  
Honestly, I fear that a lot of people are going to read this and freak out about how I melted down.   I myself am wondering if I shouldn't just check into a clinic somewhere and be locked away from the "sane".