Anger/Codependency

I find that I am angry most at my mother. She is the one who didn't protect me and make sure that my needs were met when I needed her to (when I was a child). Now I walk around all day with a horrible anxious sensation that is the symptom of codependent type thoughts (I am not loved, I am not good enough, etc., why hasn't he called, no one wants to do anything with me...I don't want to go to the gym, grocery shopping, study, etc. alone). I blew up on my mom a few months ago and we haven't spoken in 5 months. As Melanie Beattie put it it is better to detach in anger than to continue harmful relationships - and she was saying and doing some hurtful stuff. Stuff that I was no longer willing to just brush off.  But the good news is I have had time to cool off. I am so much less angry now. I have begun to deal with my past, finally, I have come to understand that blaming her isn't going to bring back my childhood. And it isn't going to help me as an adult to be responsible for making sure my needs are met.I know I have a long way to go but my hope is that soon I will be able to talk to my mother and tell her that I forgive her because she is human and I know that deep down she did the best she could. I hope that by the time I have a child, I will have had a chance to deal with these things so that he/she, they will be a healthier kid(s) and healthier adult(s).