Anger brewing

I can feel my anger inside every single day, anger at him for what he has done to myself and my son and anger at myself for not being able to do what needs to be done. I just want to scream and sometimes just cry because I lose all hope in myself that I will ever have a better life. I have to take this step, I can't possible do this another year. My My son is my life my shining star and i need to save him from this emotional abuse, he mostly just witnesses me getting yelled at but i know its the same as actual abuse on him and he also gets yelled at too, my son has so much anger in him and he is only 9, i am a pathetic person for keeping in that house. I use to be strong and be able to speak my mind but now all i do is take abuse or just ignore it, this is bullshit and has to stop. All the while my husband is manipulating me from ever angle. We haven't had sex in 2 months and he asks, are you doing this to punish me? Not really just don't want him to touch me but he tries to make me feel guilty for not giving in to him. He doesn't believe he's abusive just thinks that he knows better than anyone else and is always right. Or that he's a better parent than me, yeah thats why his son gets along with him so well, (sarcasm) yeah right. My son rejoices when his father is not around and is happy that he can be normal and be himself around me. this is such idiotic bullshit, im a fucking moron for staying with this asshole. I fucking hate my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!