anger and tears
well i am at work again today ....the station duties are done and the shift is my own unless we have calls....i am bouncing constantly between tears and anger now....i have an okay crew today which is good and we just had a cecropia moth come out of its cacoon outside the station which is cool. i wanted to call off for the next 3 weeks but i have missed so much work taking care of dad before he died that i cant afford to i miss my dad so much , and i am so overwhelmed at everything that has to happen now it is very sad and frustrating....i did get a great estate attorney who i seem to like so far which takes alot of pressure off.....i also have my teaching job this week just one night but i have to teach cardiology labs which can be really hard especially if the students dont get it usually i am very pt with them and explain things very clearly but i cant even think clear anymore i feel like i am always in a fog now ...before it was because i was staying with dad and not sleeping.....now i still am not sleeping very well and i am just foggy. oh well that is it hopefully any calls today will just be difficult enough to require my full attention and distract my brain otherwise i have to finish writing thank yous for funeral stuff and fill out insurance forms for the claim....i find i have been avoiding this but need to do all because i will feel alot better once it is done
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yes this is the hard time everyone has gone home and you are alone with the mess to clean up and in this case that is all the paper work and getting the other house taken care of and cleaning the other house will give some closure but not really and your brain will be foggy until you grasp all this and that comes with time and the anger and tears are normal and not wanting to go back to work is normal to besides who wants to have everybody see them cry or get angry over nothing jat07s you stress to much about your feelings just let them happen and realize that your whole system got a major shock and it takes time for the system to heal just take it easy on yourself if you can not do everything yourself thru all this time you are a normal person and every person reacts different to death and how it happened i know you can get thru this with the help of daily strength and your friends here loving friendship lauri43
When left in such a depleted physical and emotional state the \'getting things done\' is truly at times overwhelming.
I hope your sleep improves and you are eating well to keep up your energy.
You are in my thoughts and I care.
((hugs)) Patricia
The most important thing now, and I\'m sure your Dad would agree, is Take good care of yourself....we often aren\'t ready to move on, but we have to, and that\'s not only difficult, but we fight it every bit of the way, and rightfully so....you\'re not alone and time does heal a lot of the pain. You need time to heal so allow yourself that. We\'re all here for you so keep on keeping on. (((((hugs))))
Blessings,
Kim
Thinking of you during this difficult time and sending prayers you way. You have been through a lot so give yourself time to heal.....Take care