anger and tears

well i am at work again today ....the station duties are done and the shift is my own unless we have calls....i am bouncing constantly between tears and anger now....i have an okay crew today which is good and we just had a cecropia moth come out of its cacoon outside the station which is cool.  i wanted to call off for the next 3 weeks but i have missed so much work taking care of dad before he died that i cant afford to i miss my dad so much , and i am so overwhelmed at everything that has to happen now it is very sad and frustrating....i did get a great estate attorney who i seem to like so far which takes alot of pressure off.....i also have my teaching job this week just one night but i have to teach cardiology labs which can be really hard especially if the students dont get it usually i am very pt with them and explain things very clearly but i cant even think clear anymore i feel like i am always in a fog now ...before it was because i was staying with dad and not sleeping.....now i still am not sleeping very well and i am just foggy.  oh well that is it hopefully any calls today will just be difficult enough to require my full attention and distract my brain otherwise i have to finish writing thank yous for funeral stuff and fill out insurance forms for the claim....i find i have been avoiding this but need to do all because i will feel alot better once it is done