anger and disappointment.

I am SOOOOOOOOOO annoyed. The stupid snobs at the music centre I attend have knocked me back, telling me that I'm too old when the form I applied stated I was within the criteria. It was the first and last year I could apply for this scholarship and it was beginning to really mean a whole lot for me! ARGH!!! Stupid bloody f**king disappointments. This year I feel like I've encountered SO MANY.What with finding out the guy I felt I should have been with got married,Oh yeah and I had some bad experiences at uniw here I got left out of two major work opportunities despite having done all the bloody work,My uncle died and no friends supported me,I keep disappointing myself because I can't lose this weight and I just want to binge myself to death sometimes. I am so disappointed.  I feel as though I want to cancel work.Why do I have to put on such a happy show at work, because I'm forced to but it saps all of my energy and I hate that. I feel so pissed off and yet I have to focus and be happy larry teacher because otherwise I know I would just drop to the ground ina  heap.It's not like if you are depressed you can just switch off entirely. Not when you have to work.I have been tempted every single week for the past month to cancel coming into work.I've had plenty of disappointments there as well,Many no show's at work and also lot's of me not getting paid for ages. Man I just feel so off put today by the decline of the scholarship. THEY wrote the wrong fricking date!!!! ARGHHHHH I am so disappointed!