Anger
The bully blisters are still surfacing. Perhaps still escalating, but we arenae keeping a close score on that sorrow. Big Bro was involved in two fights at school yesterday. Big Sis is bullying Baby Sis. For the most part, Baby Sis Hubs and I are sniping each other in between trying to contain the anger events, such as the string of lawsuit lotto texts from ES and the more fissured legal updates from the other grandparent house. They are locked and loaded for the profit drive. I am ever so grateful for the insurance agents who are running intervention on that score. Kudos on their willingness to guard the future of the children from the tragedy jackals. Maybe insurance agents arenae as wicked as I have been giving them credit for. The agent who has been handling the case has been remarkably compassionate in the effects of having such battery acid thrown upon the wounds of grief. Grampa will probably get his new macho wagon, but the company will see too it that their daughter is able to leave at least some education trust fund for the children to remember her by. Grampa's new macho wagon will be in the junk yard by then. This morning I am feeling mean enough to hope he is still in it when it meets the crusher. Plying therapy tools. . .
Big Sis's bully blisters have been easier to pop and medicate because of the one-on-one attention she is getting here. Catch 'em fresh and handle with care. I believe I am grateful we failed in finding her a pre-school before the tragedy hit. I earnestly believe this healing requires far more up close and personal action than an over-worked, under-paid employee with a dozen or two other charges with needs of their own.
Big Bro is on full lockdown. So far the only *punishment* has been taking away his Play Station. E-toys were his strongest link to his parents. They were both full-out, glow-in-the-dark Nintendo geeks. Baby Sister was already getting her elementary e-game lessons when the CPS action went down. Expanding their e-game reperitoire to Play Station 4 was an exciting bonding experience between Big Bro and Mother. Daddy was getting some clues by then and wondering how to arrest *that* downward spiral. Plying therapy tools to keep myself from the psyco What Ifs of that scenario. . .
We are working to keep the rest of the lockdown off his awareness radar. The calvary is assembling. Prayers in progress. . . Come back to us, Gentle Big Bro. We miss you.
Replies
A potential sub-tragedy in the mix is that it appears our turkey flock is doomed. There is an avian disease called, "Blackhead" which affects some birds more than others. Turkeys are extremely vulnerable while chickens are virtually immune carriers. The web research I did before the tragedy disabled the last of my brain cells advised keeping your chicken and turkey flocks separate. So we have done, but not far enough. My guess is that Big Sis and I carried the microbes on our hands and clothing as we moved between the flocks.
Dunno. . . My current impaired condition is not processing well on the modest research I have attempted to do on the subject. The preliminary research says that immunization and treatments are currently unavailable. For sure, the black boils arenae the prettiest part of their march into adolescence.
Ouch again. . .
Let yourself fall into the abyss
As an Act of Faith
Without Remiss
The winds of the storm are blowing the heart
There isnae a way to control or depart
Blow with the flow
Hold on to what be Dear
Hold knot the fear until you are clear
Healing hopes
If Elizabeth Kubler Ross's writing is any indication, there are stages of grief and anger's the second one, arfie. Maybe that is going on now in what you describe, I don't know. Prayers in progress again.
Hugs, lots of support and much love Arfie.
I can’t imagine the full experience of what you’re going through right now but your determination and strength is blazing. My heart goes out to you Arfie.
The snipping and bullying seems to be a consistent consequence. So many memories have been stirred in me that remind me of that. My experiences, though not nearly so drastic or even comparable, show the same patterns of behaviors in others.
I still carry the trauma from the vultures that circled when my grandmother died and just the thought of having to deal with inheritances & such after the passing of a loved one make me shudder in dread.
I greatly admire that you and your husband have been able to focus on what’s the most important, the welfare of the children & their future. In wish my family and my eldest daughter’s family had as much sense and care.
I’m sorry to hear that also your gobble gobblers are suffering too. Why does it always seem to snow after it pours rain?
Hugs and much love Arfie. Continued prayer and support.
Yes, the well-esteemed Dr. Kubler Ross's book might be the most unchallenged set of theories in publishing history. Herstory, too. It has been the Worldwide Grief Bible since 1969. Great as it is, human grief is bigger than a single theory set.
When is your theory set going to hit the presses, Profie? You were brave enough to teach the class. Are you brave enough to write the book? There isnae a shortage of accredited fools on the PTSD glamour wagon.
More healing hopes for the healing of your hurts, Mighty River.
Thank you for the prayers and support.
Gentle hug Arfie…..
There is a lot online about grief therapy for children including sharing info..... There are a ton of links if you'd want to google it … I found art therapy interesting
I'm also so sorry that there's a disease that may effect the birds... Too much pain
Another hug and my prayers.....xo
I am pretty much a disciple of the premise that you shouldn't try to play therapist with family members, even if you are qualified to therapute John Q. Public. Detachment neither helpful nor probable. Letting an engineer play therapist is ludicrous.
The good news that there is already one grief therapist in the assembling Calvary. He has already met with the children once. The next appointment is tomorrow. I think we will need an entire village to get through this one.
Thank you again for your gentle and compassionate support through all this, Jan. Thank you for being you in our lives.
Sorry to read of all that More Is Added to your already loaded down shoulders...I too am happy insurance person is dealing with the details! Ugh! Poor little turkey brood....how is little sis dealing with black spots and are they contagious or make her sick? you sick? Lord I hope not!
As for dear Gs....he just doesn't have words, or impulse control for his grief....did they follow your note and call yesterday? I did some reading online and it's kind of normal for kids to lash out their inability to express anger....has psychologist at school if there is one been called in to talk to him? Could CPS give you support with info? Poor little boy! Sister baby and All....Hugs and prayers for All
I haven't called the black blisters to Big Sis's attention. Blackhead is not dangerous to humans and now doesn't feel like a good time to give her the news. For now, I am just letting that evolution be.
The CPS caseworker just left. The children love her and sprang into sibling snipery while she took extra time to get our take on the situation. When an especially vicious round broke out at the chicken coop, I returned from the coop with the speculative translation of, "Miss R., if I am translating correctly, they need to know you here for them and not for us." Both she and Hubs agreed. The children responded beautifully to her joining them at the coop. The house feels much calmer for now. Thank you, Miss R. It is good to have you on our team.
Prayers continue.
Prayers appreciated and needed.