And Yet You Wonder . . .
You wonder why I want nothing to do with you. I know you do. You just don't get it.
Maybe I'm too sensitive. I ask myself that all the time, "Am I being too sensitive about this." But then I come back to one startling revelation, we're related, we're flesh and blood, we grew up together in the same awful house with the same disconnected parents. And some part of my brain still thinks that should count for something. It doesn't, but I have a hard time realizing it. See, the way this family thing is SUPPOSED to work, is that we're family, we love each other, we support each other, we allow each other to be individuals who share a common heritage. No where in there does it mention anything about belittling, condeming, and making fun of.
For the record, I am not your little sister anymore. I'm 48 years old. I've held over a dozen jobs, lived in who knows how many places, loved I can't remember how many men and lived a fairly full adult intelligent considered joyful and sometimes depressing life. And you don't give a shit. You were there for none of it by your own actions and so I guess that entitles you to skip over all that and fall back on what used to be and ignore what came in between. Well fuck you.
If you don't like my poltics, if you don't like my religion, if you don't like my friends well fuck you. If you can't look me in the eye and see me for who I am, who I've become then fuck you. You do not get to control me with your disapproval or your snide remarks our your knives in the back. You will respect me and my life choices or you will find yourself cut out of my life forever.
I've spent way way too much of my life trying to please the lot of you. I realize now the only thing that was ever going to make you happy was for me to hand my soul over to you. Well fuck you, it ain't happening that way. You need to accept who I am or you need to just leave my life and never come back. I will not allow you or anyone else on this earth or beyond to tell me who I should or need to be. I get to make those decisions, not you, not anyone else. Get used to it or move on. I will not soft peddle my life for you anymore. I will not hide any part of it, or even nod in agreement when you prattle on about NASCAR. I don't give a fuck about NASCAR. What every led you to believe I did? Because you do? Get a fucking clue.
Maybe I'm too sensitive. I ask myself that all the time, "Am I being too sensitive about this." But then I come back to one startling revelation, we're related, we're flesh and blood, we grew up together in the same awful house with the same disconnected parents. And some part of my brain still thinks that should count for something. It doesn't, but I have a hard time realizing it. See, the way this family thing is SUPPOSED to work, is that we're family, we love each other, we support each other, we allow each other to be individuals who share a common heritage. No where in there does it mention anything about belittling, condeming, and making fun of.
For the record, I am not your little sister anymore. I'm 48 years old. I've held over a dozen jobs, lived in who knows how many places, loved I can't remember how many men and lived a fairly full adult intelligent considered joyful and sometimes depressing life. And you don't give a shit. You were there for none of it by your own actions and so I guess that entitles you to skip over all that and fall back on what used to be and ignore what came in between. Well fuck you.
If you don't like my poltics, if you don't like my religion, if you don't like my friends well fuck you. If you can't look me in the eye and see me for who I am, who I've become then fuck you. You do not get to control me with your disapproval or your snide remarks our your knives in the back. You will respect me and my life choices or you will find yourself cut out of my life forever.
I've spent way way too much of my life trying to please the lot of you. I realize now the only thing that was ever going to make you happy was for me to hand my soul over to you. Well fuck you, it ain't happening that way. You need to accept who I am or you need to just leave my life and never come back. I will not allow you or anyone else on this earth or beyond to tell me who I should or need to be. I get to make those decisions, not you, not anyone else. Get used to it or move on. I will not soft peddle my life for you anymore. I will not hide any part of it, or even nod in agreement when you prattle on about NASCAR. I don't give a fuck about NASCAR. What every led you to believe I did? Because you do? Get a fucking clue.
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