And through the darkness comes LIGHT! (GOD ALERT!)

Zombies... something I had forgotten... when you face them they try to destroy you by becoming bigger, more threatening, and they change shape.   Mine changed into the shape of ...                     A WEDDING.So after my earlier post, I was back in GRIEF mode.   The pain was SO raw.  To make myself feel better I began flipping channels on the TV.   I recorded Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday, saw it was about the power of prayer and there it was..... LIGHT....                    PRAYER.When things are out of control and beyond my ability to cope, the only thing to do is to pray.   So I prayed that God’s will be done regarding my X.   That God help him to find his way, to find his peace.  And that God give me the strength to just let go.... And as I prayed, I cried... felt like I was scared out of my mind... like it was going to be completely overwhelming....And to top it off, at 1pm today, I had a wedding to go to.... some mountain biking friends met on the bike trail last Spring and decided to get married there.  But by 11am this morning, I had decided not to go... this Zombie was too much.   But then I realized what it was... a test for me to see how strong I could be... how ready (or not ready, lol) I was to face it.  And something I learned recently was that when you are SCARED out of your mind, that the best way to handle it is to FACE IT HEAD ON, GRAB IT, HOLD ON TIGHT AND IF NECESSARY CLOSE YOUR EYES AND SCREAM....And so I went....Bicycles everywhere, everybody dressed to go riding...  but it was HOT (100 degrees), so all everyone did was sit and talk....And who is the FIRST person I met?   A LIFE COACH... not just ANY life coach, but one who’s in training for SUICIDE INTERVENTION!!!It was AMAZING... the conversation started with the bride mentioning to me that she took a fall on her mountain bike yesterday and all I said was that IF I ever get married again that I should avoid mountain biking and rock climbing the day before, lol... and then the life coach started asking questions....did I recently get divorce (yes, was it obvious? lol)... what happened... (really? you really want to know this?)  then we got to talking about the dream and SHE said our meeting was meant to be.  And we talked about “the Zombie” and about how my being there at the wedding was facing it and moving on... And then the vows were said... funny ones that made me laugh so hard I had tears... and we all found our places on picnic tables in the sun to have our potluck meal.... and who should sit next to me?  All the single women who hike and mountain bike!   We compared recent hikes, talked about great ones that each of us didn’t know about, made plans to get together next weekend for the Volksmarch.I had an AWESOME TIME!   And once again, that Zombie is gone!   I’m getting there!!!  LATER!