And then, almost a year later, came a letter in the mail...
Yesterday, ten months pretty much to the day from my last entry, I picked up the mail and to my absolute shock, there was a thick envelope from Humber River Regional Hospital bariatric office. Enclosed was a notice that they had received my dr's referral and I was scheduled for a patient information session next Friday afternoon.
I started to cry.
I had given up hope of ever hearing from them, thinking that my weight wasn't bad enough to be accepted, even with my co-morbidities.
My weight has gone up since last February, of course. I didn't weigh myself but I know I had to be around 220 pounds or more because I had to start buying/wearing size 16-18-20 clothes. My knees, hips, ankles, feet hurt. I felt horrid, knowing that i was now in the morbidly obese category. My plantar fasciitis in my feet returned. Walking was painful. I could not go swimming as our small community does not have a pool.
And then I started getting flutterings from my heart. I already knew that one of my ventricles is a little slow on the closing (my dr wasn't really concerned about that when he told me about it 2 years ago). Fluttering can be caused by blood pooling with a slow ventricle. When the fluttering started happening a number of times a day, especially while resting or lying down, I began to get scared.
There are no walk-in clinics in my town. My dr lives/works 1.5 hrs away.
So in October I started Atkins again. I have been pretty strict with myself and my weight has really started to drop. I'm at 188 lbs and I am back into smaller clothes (and you all know hor that feels!!!!). My BMI is now just shy of 35, the magic number for surgery for me, given my co-morbidities.
That is why I was crying when I read the letter.
So what do I do? Do I work on gaining 10 lbs this week in order to be acceptable for surgery?
I could keep going with atkins and lose more weight but i already know that in time, when I try to eat normally, my weight will come back and be even higher and then I'll be older and have to ask my dr for a referral again...
I don't want to gain weight but I don't want to lose this opportunity either.
I started to cry.
I had given up hope of ever hearing from them, thinking that my weight wasn't bad enough to be accepted, even with my co-morbidities.
My weight has gone up since last February, of course. I didn't weigh myself but I know I had to be around 220 pounds or more because I had to start buying/wearing size 16-18-20 clothes. My knees, hips, ankles, feet hurt. I felt horrid, knowing that i was now in the morbidly obese category. My plantar fasciitis in my feet returned. Walking was painful. I could not go swimming as our small community does not have a pool.
And then I started getting flutterings from my heart. I already knew that one of my ventricles is a little slow on the closing (my dr wasn't really concerned about that when he told me about it 2 years ago). Fluttering can be caused by blood pooling with a slow ventricle. When the fluttering started happening a number of times a day, especially while resting or lying down, I began to get scared.
There are no walk-in clinics in my town. My dr lives/works 1.5 hrs away.
So in October I started Atkins again. I have been pretty strict with myself and my weight has really started to drop. I'm at 188 lbs and I am back into smaller clothes (and you all know hor that feels!!!!). My BMI is now just shy of 35, the magic number for surgery for me, given my co-morbidities.
That is why I was crying when I read the letter.
So what do I do? Do I work on gaining 10 lbs this week in order to be acceptable for surgery?
I could keep going with atkins and lose more weight but i already know that in time, when I try to eat normally, my weight will come back and be even higher and then I'll be older and have to ask my dr for a referral again...
I don't want to gain weight but I don't want to lose this opportunity either.
Replies
Others may disagree with me, but (since your history of dieting is so similar to mine) I would personally do whatever it took to stay qualified for surgery. Wear heavy clothes and load up on water before the weigh-in...and, yes, even eat if you must. Starvation dieting screwed up our metabolisms and no amount of will-power will change that. The surgery does.
Good luck with your difficult decision.
JJ
I agree with JJ; with your other health issues, the surgery is probably the best way to make sure the weight stays off. I only barely squeaked in myself, and if I hadn\'t had the surgery, I\'d probably be on even more diabetes medicine and even more miserable.
Thank you, JJ and Shado. I think that it\'s the way I have to do it.