And the summer begins...

As manic as I've been lately, I've had zero interest in writing, talking, or really doing anything at all. I took some adderall tonight and although I felt pretty good for awhile, nothing really got accomplished. I'm in kind of a weird spot right now...My girlfriend's mom has lyme disease and is doing heavy antibiotics treatment (shes had it for over 20 years) so we are both living with her parents (in a small camper next to the house with our puppy). I've felt manicky, but unmotivated...to the point of shamefully lazy. I graduated earlier this month, although I have 3 summer classes and an internship this summer. I feel claustrophobic and frustrated because I cannot find a way to express my rage. I played softball for four years and this season went horribly...so that has only made things worse over the last few months. I feel shamefully lazy yet can't bring any change quite yet...I have my own radio show on my college's station (music used to be my favorite thing) and I can't even get motivated to do that...I'm totally half-assing everything I'm doing...and have done in the last six months. I hate not working this summer(first summer in 6 years I haven't worked) but I don't have time in my schedule (of what I'm supposed to be doing anyway..). I have my senior thesis to redo this summer (because my dumbass plagiarized part of it towards the end of the semester...again, not too proud about that) and I'm having trouble deciding what to do it on...it's supposed to be a mini-documentary. I'm still grinding my teeth and locking my jaw. I feel like I should go up on my meds (200 mg lamictal, 75 effexor), but I feel like that's a cop-out and just not dealing with some issues. I've had a lot of randomly directed rage lately. Nights are the worst...I don't want to go out to the camper at night because I feel claustrophobic and it's just been intensifying. I've had the body tension and itching and have refrained from scratching because I feel like I could claw myself to the bone. I don't even know where to begin. I've always been extremely seasonal and I know I'm just beginning a knew phase of my life, but I need some help. I missed my last pdoc appt because I forgot and have yet to reschedule. She's usually booked two months ahead anyway. I don't want to switch meds or anything because my parents are already spending 300 a month on my meds. I've taken zoloft, lexapro, lithium, celexa, and wellbutrin with no positive effects...xanax and klonopin (purchased illegally) have helped in the past, but I have a highly addictive personality and need to be able to function.  I need some ideas.