And the shit begins

well, my roomate got fired. great. wonderful. rent is due now and i dont know how much of it she has, though im sure for this month she will come up with it, but what about next month? im scared. im having to cover more than my share of rent this month because my bf took a week off work to go see his parents, which is fine, its just all bad timing. i really wish he would start paying his bills though and get his credit straight for the long haul. im really stressing. so many things up in the air, i feel so out of balance. bills coming in. crap. i really want this time in my life to end. i really want to feel like myself again, and i dont know what is holding me back. i cant seem to get a grasp on it. im hot, im cold, my moods shift erratically lately.
and sex with my bf is becoming a problem. something is lacking, and i dont know what it is, but it is lacking to the point where i dont even want to at all anymore. its sad. cause i really want to feel some kind of passion. its almost like a chore to try, and i feel guilty for feeling this way.
i feel like my world is upside down. i just want to be myself again! i really like myself when i am myself. i dont like this person i am right now. so come on universe, show me the way, i could really use some help right now.yes, i really could.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Stop trying to control everything....you simply can\'t. All you can do is take care of you. I learned a long time ago, that it doesn\'t do any good to worry about bills and money. Focus all that \"worry energy\" on things that make you happy; art, horseback riding, spending time with baby, accomplishing minor goals. Emphasis on \'minor\' because \'major\' goals are really just a bunch of \'minor\' goals all wrapped together, and focusing on the future is well, prohibited. Remember to STAY IN THE PRESENT...NOW, is all that matters. Right now, those bills don\'t matter; therefore why stress about something that doesn\'t matter right now. And if you can do something to better your situation in the PRESENT than do it, but if you can\'t do anything-let it go, and do only what you can. The universe can only help you, if you embrace it, and remember you can only do things in the NOW. No other time frame exists.
AgentSmith
AgentSmith

Sorry you are going thru this. That really sucks about the roommate. Maybe she will find a new job quick. Its never fun to have to pay someone elses bills. I\'ve been there. Hope you feel like yourself soon. I\'m in a funk too, not sure when it started.