And the shit begins

well, my roomate got fired. great. wonderful. rent is due now and i dont know how much of it she has, though im sure for this month she will come up with it, but what about next month? im scared. im having to cover more than my share of rent this month because my bf took a week off work to go see his parents, which is fine, its just all bad timing. i really wish he would start paying his bills though and get his credit straight for the long haul. im really stressing. so many things up in the air, i feel so out of balance. bills coming in. crap. i really want this time in my life to end. i really want to feel like myself again, and i dont know what is holding me back. i cant seem to get a grasp on it. im hot, im cold, my moods shift erratically lately.
and sex with my bf is becoming a problem. something is lacking, and i dont know what it is, but it is lacking to the point where i dont even want to at all anymore. its sad. cause i really want to feel some kind of passion. its almost like a chore to try, and i feel guilty for feeling this way.
i feel like my world is upside down. i just want to be myself again! i really like myself when i am myself. i dont like this person i am right now. so come on universe, show me the way, i could really use some help right now.yes, i really could.