And then...

Thanks much for the replies to my last entry, it means a lot!
Well the situation w/ the newly exbf T, the "stalking" (without threats, oh except that he hoped he didn't kill himself) did increase. I thought by ignoring it, it would go away.  A friend mentioned she thought it had tapped into my PTSD - I absolutely think she's right and it alerts me that what happened was this alarm towards T is layered with memories and traumas from previous abusive stalking relationships.  I never really related to having PTSD before, but what I've since read on it has been helpful.  So I was in a pretty bad way, but doing better, blocked his number from calling or texting and avoiding running into him.  Previous stalking relationships were the relationship I was in when I came to DS a few years ago, and a relationship in which I got a restraining order about 14 years ago (the same time T's exgf got a restraining order against him!  And this is the 1st relationship he's been in since).
So I get to deal with this and stay away from our mutual meetings so as to not put myself into the "line of fire" I feel, one day at a time.  It sucks but I have to take responsibility for my choices.
This is a sober Christian man, and I am a sober woman who I also consider a flexible Christian if that makes sense!  It is scary to me that such an escalation in instability has occured.  I made mistake of staying in relationship longer than I was comfortable with, and was not being emotionally honest from the start...  But I did turn it around and become honest, but he wasn't invested in that.  I have a history of abusive relationships so, I am proud I got out with no back and forth this time like my history...
My goal is to get into some constructive challenges like some work.  God willing.