And a deep breath...
Well, here's where things are at right now...
Work is BORING as HELL! Everybody is paying me off with their taxes and so there I sit with nothing to do. And while sitting, I moved on from the quilting (since my creativity froze) and did some reading.... "Women Who Run With the Wolves" as I mentioned before, then I moved on to "A Purpose Driven Life" by Pastor Rick Warren and then "Transformation" by Bill Phillips because I decided that it was time to start focusing on my training for September's bike race...
So... with "A Purpose Driven Life"... you know, I started reading that book feeling completely lost, and by the time I ended it, it made perfect sense and there were two possible careers that showed up for me... one was a dog boarding business and the other was an outdoor sports store. I think I'd enjoy either and had an opportunity pop up just recently to start an outdoor store when the local ski shop closed due to the owners' needing to retire (they're both in their 80's)...
But as I walking with my friend last Monday night like usual, we were talking about it as we walked past it, and I learned nobody was interested in buying it. An excellent opportunity, right? And yet I hesitated. I just can't see how I could keep it going through the Spring and Summer months and still eat, much less have roof. Not that the money's not there... I just don't have the DRIVE. It feels wrong... like some kind of a distraction to keep me from going in the RIGHT direction. And so I just kept walking and when I got back to my books, I just set the notes aside and picked up "Transformation"...
And in "Transformation", part of the training process is to document where I am now (Point A). And I was a bit more negative than usual with this... mostly because this is the SIXTH time I'm attempting to lose weight and because I still feel a little lost. Talk about FRUSTRATED. I know what I'm doing wrong... I'm sabotaging myself ALOT - I either give up and cheat, or convince myself 1 cookie won't hurt and then eat 5. And I think I even know why... that darn FEAR that I'm not strong enough to live my life alone....
But then... I turned the pages to start the chapter on Nutrition and found NOTES! Notes from February 20, 2012 and then MORE notes dated April 13, 2012 when my crazy neighbor was acting up... And in them, I documented where I was emotionally (still grieving from the divorce) and physically. And SURPRISE! I was 5 pounds HEAVIER than I am right now in February 2012, and 15 MORE pounds heavier in April of 2012... so that means, I LOST 20 POUNDS since April and didn't notice! Talk about an AWESOME way to get a person motivated!
And in those notes, I also mentioned things I dreamed about doing... things I enjoy, maybe would like to start doing as a career someday... and there it was again. The dog boarding business. Which I had also put down on my recent Point A too...
And all of a sudden, I found myself making note after note after note about where I need to do more research, things like how many kennels to start with, what I would charge, what the hours would be... and then I accidentally found leads to other places while on the computer yesterday, and found what they charge, how they operate, their hours, and most of all... THE KIND OF BUILDINGS they use! OMG! I know where I want to start my own business! And today, I found my business name...
And so, I'm digging in deeper... because this summer I'm going to be getting ready to do it. I'm giving myself a goal of Thanksgiving 2014 at the very latest to take the leap...
AND... insert PANIC ATTACKS! I have NEVER had them physically hurt before. All I have to do is think about quitting my current job and it almost feels like a dehydration attack. They aren't the same symptoms as a heart attack and these I can control - they go away when I BREATHE - but boy do they hit you! And yet I want this SO MUCH.... and yet I'm SO SCARED.... AND THEN, my crazy neighbor came out of hibernation yesterday and immediately started swearing at my dogs (here we go again). BUT this time as I think about how to deal with him, I am so much more confident and secure, and already have a plan worked out on how to handle it this summer.... Maybe it's another "training lesson" to prepare me for the dogs? I'll keep you posted! :)
Work is BORING as HELL! Everybody is paying me off with their taxes and so there I sit with nothing to do. And while sitting, I moved on from the quilting (since my creativity froze) and did some reading.... "Women Who Run With the Wolves" as I mentioned before, then I moved on to "A Purpose Driven Life" by Pastor Rick Warren and then "Transformation" by Bill Phillips because I decided that it was time to start focusing on my training for September's bike race...
So... with "A Purpose Driven Life"... you know, I started reading that book feeling completely lost, and by the time I ended it, it made perfect sense and there were two possible careers that showed up for me... one was a dog boarding business and the other was an outdoor sports store. I think I'd enjoy either and had an opportunity pop up just recently to start an outdoor store when the local ski shop closed due to the owners' needing to retire (they're both in their 80's)...
But as I walking with my friend last Monday night like usual, we were talking about it as we walked past it, and I learned nobody was interested in buying it. An excellent opportunity, right? And yet I hesitated. I just can't see how I could keep it going through the Spring and Summer months and still eat, much less have roof. Not that the money's not there... I just don't have the DRIVE. It feels wrong... like some kind of a distraction to keep me from going in the RIGHT direction. And so I just kept walking and when I got back to my books, I just set the notes aside and picked up "Transformation"...
And in "Transformation", part of the training process is to document where I am now (Point A). And I was a bit more negative than usual with this... mostly because this is the SIXTH time I'm attempting to lose weight and because I still feel a little lost. Talk about FRUSTRATED. I know what I'm doing wrong... I'm sabotaging myself ALOT - I either give up and cheat, or convince myself 1 cookie won't hurt and then eat 5. And I think I even know why... that darn FEAR that I'm not strong enough to live my life alone....
But then... I turned the pages to start the chapter on Nutrition and found NOTES! Notes from February 20, 2012 and then MORE notes dated April 13, 2012 when my crazy neighbor was acting up... And in them, I documented where I was emotionally (still grieving from the divorce) and physically. And SURPRISE! I was 5 pounds HEAVIER than I am right now in February 2012, and 15 MORE pounds heavier in April of 2012... so that means, I LOST 20 POUNDS since April and didn't notice! Talk about an AWESOME way to get a person motivated!
And in those notes, I also mentioned things I dreamed about doing... things I enjoy, maybe would like to start doing as a career someday... and there it was again. The dog boarding business. Which I had also put down on my recent Point A too...
And all of a sudden, I found myself making note after note after note about where I need to do more research, things like how many kennels to start with, what I would charge, what the hours would be... and then I accidentally found leads to other places while on the computer yesterday, and found what they charge, how they operate, their hours, and most of all... THE KIND OF BUILDINGS they use! OMG! I know where I want to start my own business! And today, I found my business name...
And so, I'm digging in deeper... because this summer I'm going to be getting ready to do it. I'm giving myself a goal of Thanksgiving 2014 at the very latest to take the leap...
AND... insert PANIC ATTACKS! I have NEVER had them physically hurt before. All I have to do is think about quitting my current job and it almost feels like a dehydration attack. They aren't the same symptoms as a heart attack and these I can control - they go away when I BREATHE - but boy do they hit you! And yet I want this SO MUCH.... and yet I'm SO SCARED.... AND THEN, my crazy neighbor came out of hibernation yesterday and immediately started swearing at my dogs (here we go again). BUT this time as I think about how to deal with him, I am so much more confident and secure, and already have a plan worked out on how to handle it this summer.... Maybe it's another "training lesson" to prepare me for the dogs? I'll keep you posted! :)
Replies
I knew you would do this. Not try but do it and be able to support yourself. You just had so much junk in your thoughts, life and mind that you couldn\'t see what was right in front of you.
Perhaps you need to start small and keep your job until you get this off the ground and securely making money to support yourself.
Thanks! I would but that means doing it from the house which runs into all kinds of neighbor/legal issues. So instead, I\'m thinking about exploring options of doing it with 1 or 2 more people - thereby splitting up the work time. But I struggle with sharing, lol, due to all my trust issues, so I\'m taking it slow and exploring all options right now.
Put the house up for sale and buy another one where you can do what you want. In an unincorporated part of town but not so far out that you don\'t get business. Sharing is going to cost you moeny and by starting small and growing you will come out with more dollar for yourself. That is why I do all my own work. I\'m not big enough yet to be able to pay help or share profits.
I love my house so worst case scenario, I might rent it out and live at the kennels for a year or two - at least that way I\'d have income coming in for sure. And I agree with you on the sharing. I\'ll keep working out the kinks and appreciate your thoughts on this! They help me get clearer and clearer!