An the other shoe drops.. :P
UGH! As if things aren't bad enough already, I took my son in for a sleep study on Friday. I was told they would have a recliner at least for me to lounge/sleep in while my son slept. WRONG! I got stuck with a wooden chair, which unfortunately for me I fell asleep in. And of course when I woke up my back had gone out on me. It was torture driving home, and, up until now, I was stuck in bed. I broke down an started taking my HS pain meds for my back, since the idiot woman who was in charge of my Medicaid case, totally screwed me by being a lazy piece, and didn't bother sending me forms for more information that was supposedly needed. So with no insurance I can't go see my GP about my back and let her know that 60 Percocets this month is NOT going to cover this AND my HS. If I'm not better by later on today, the only recourse I have is to go to the ER and hope that they give me muscle relaxers. So long as I walk reaaaalll slow and don't pick my feet up real high, I can make it to the bathroom or kitchen without too much agony, but oh boy let me move or twitch wrong and everything locks up in pain. Not to mention my son is awake right now, and I can't even lay down on my bed cause he won't lay the hell still and not jiggle or bounce on the bed, and every jiggle, jerk and bounce sends me that much more into agony. Hubby is up with me trying to help. I wouldn't care too much, but I also have a 10:15 am meeting with my daughter' s councelors and they are coming here to the house, so it's not like I'm going to be able to sleep in or anything.
The stress of my son being up all hours has made the HS that much more unbearable. I feel like I'm burning my candle at both ends. I feel sometimes like I have to fight family and friends just to get some rest. And it's made that much more tough that my hubby is just 7 weeks out of neck surgery himself, and the doctor is talking about 1 yr recovery time for him, and he has his own pain to deal with. So I feel guilty about being forceful about getting rest..you know.."Dammit I've been up for 48 hours with our son, I'm going to sleep! And God help the poor sould that wakes me up!" that kinda stuff. I can't expect the hubby to stay up all the time with our son, just like he can't expect me to stay up with him all the time either. All this sleep study stuff and seeing the neurologist (for our son) is so that we can try to find something to help him go to sleep. Once he's asleep he's fine..it's just the getting to sleep part we're having problems with. And it's all thanks to his ADHD and ODD.
Im done for now, off to try to find a spot where I can half assed get comfortable, and wait another 40 mins til time to wake our daughter for school. She has to get up at 5am to start getting ready, and I have to be dead on her ass, cause if I don't, if I doze off sitting in a chair or on the couch, she readily takes that opportunity to go back to sleep herself. She 13, and most kids I know at that age have no problem getting themselves up, dressed and fed and onto the bus without having to have their parent ride their butt. She catches the bus at 6:45am so she has plenty of time to get ready. But she tends to lollygag and fart around wasting time. She likes to catch me when I am at my weakest, and seems to lie in wait for me to screw up and fall asleep, then she goes back to sleep herself, and then when I either wake up myself or hubby wakes up (his pain meds and valium really put him out) and wakes me up, she tries to wheedle her way out of going to school. "Well mom it's already such and such time, I'm already going to be counted as absent..yadda..yadda..yadda." Any ole' excuse. And she likes to make me feel bad by telling me it's all my fault she missed the bus, which I feel is true. But with the HS, some days I am so exhausted from fighting it, I can't help but doze off sometimes. I feel like I should be able to do better, and then in the same breath wonder where I'm going to come up with the energy reserves for it. I should be able to be a good mommy and never doze off or fall asleep while she's getting ready. I hear from others that "Yeah well she is 13 she should have no problem getting herself up and ready and on the bus without you there hounding her." But I still feel like it is my fault, because, even though I am not trying to fall asleep or doze off, I should be strong enough to NOT do it. She has Asperger's, a form of Autism, so I guess that is why I give her so much leniency, even though her Asperger's counselors have told me themelves that she should be able to take care of these things without me having to hound her, or being dead up her butt, that she is old enough, and even with Asperger's, should be responsible enough, that if I do doze off in the chair/couch, to continue getting herself ready, and that she is old enough to realize she has to be on the bus at a certain time, and that she should be able to watch the time so she don't miss the bus. But again, I blame myself.
Well Off this time for real...now 4:30am so I got to try to grab 30 mins of half assed somewhat comfort while I can.
The stress of my son being up all hours has made the HS that much more unbearable. I feel like I'm burning my candle at both ends. I feel sometimes like I have to fight family and friends just to get some rest. And it's made that much more tough that my hubby is just 7 weeks out of neck surgery himself, and the doctor is talking about 1 yr recovery time for him, and he has his own pain to deal with. So I feel guilty about being forceful about getting rest..you know.."Dammit I've been up for 48 hours with our son, I'm going to sleep! And God help the poor sould that wakes me up!" that kinda stuff. I can't expect the hubby to stay up all the time with our son, just like he can't expect me to stay up with him all the time either. All this sleep study stuff and seeing the neurologist (for our son) is so that we can try to find something to help him go to sleep. Once he's asleep he's fine..it's just the getting to sleep part we're having problems with. And it's all thanks to his ADHD and ODD.
Im done for now, off to try to find a spot where I can half assed get comfortable, and wait another 40 mins til time to wake our daughter for school. She has to get up at 5am to start getting ready, and I have to be dead on her ass, cause if I don't, if I doze off sitting in a chair or on the couch, she readily takes that opportunity to go back to sleep herself. She 13, and most kids I know at that age have no problem getting themselves up, dressed and fed and onto the bus without having to have their parent ride their butt. She catches the bus at 6:45am so she has plenty of time to get ready. But she tends to lollygag and fart around wasting time. She likes to catch me when I am at my weakest, and seems to lie in wait for me to screw up and fall asleep, then she goes back to sleep herself, and then when I either wake up myself or hubby wakes up (his pain meds and valium really put him out) and wakes me up, she tries to wheedle her way out of going to school. "Well mom it's already such and such time, I'm already going to be counted as absent..yadda..yadda..yadda." Any ole' excuse. And she likes to make me feel bad by telling me it's all my fault she missed the bus, which I feel is true. But with the HS, some days I am so exhausted from fighting it, I can't help but doze off sometimes. I feel like I should be able to do better, and then in the same breath wonder where I'm going to come up with the energy reserves for it. I should be able to be a good mommy and never doze off or fall asleep while she's getting ready. I hear from others that "Yeah well she is 13 she should have no problem getting herself up and ready and on the bus without you there hounding her." But I still feel like it is my fault, because, even though I am not trying to fall asleep or doze off, I should be strong enough to NOT do it. She has Asperger's, a form of Autism, so I guess that is why I give her so much leniency, even though her Asperger's counselors have told me themelves that she should be able to take care of these things without me having to hound her, or being dead up her butt, that she is old enough, and even with Asperger's, should be responsible enough, that if I do doze off in the chair/couch, to continue getting herself ready, and that she is old enough to realize she has to be on the bus at a certain time, and that she should be able to watch the time so she don't miss the bus. But again, I blame myself.
Well Off this time for real...now 4:30am so I got to try to grab 30 mins of half assed somewhat comfort while I can.
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