An Open Letter To My SOTH
An Open Letter To My SOTH
Dear SOTH,
I was giving Richard a bit of a hard time about whether we should put up a tree this year... I had told him repeatedly it just seemed so unnecessary, that we don't have small children, that we just don't have room and on and on... Finally he agreed... I should have been happy right... Not... I was heartbroken... I saw the slump of his shoulders and I was ashamed...
A couple of days later it was his birthday and I brought him to work and I kept the car so I could go pick up a few things... I was thinking about what Richard might want for his birthday. I thought about a variety of things… The one thing that I knew Richard had wanted… yep… I bought a Christmas Tree for Richard's birthday... Its a small tree, space truly is limited but I told him we can get a bigger tree next year... The light in his eyes... I told him I didn't get the ornaments as I wanted him to have the fun of picking out the ornaments. He is pleased and I am so grateful God opened up my eyes...
I have known for years, if not for Richard, Christmas would have died for me the year Cara died... Every year he does the majority of the work of putting up the tree and decorations around the house... He puts so many icicles on the tree you can hardly see the ornaments or lights... I think its too many but I have to smile... He has so many good memories of his childhood Christmases and wants to keep those happy memories alive... I love his delight in what might seem like childish things... He allows me to keep my inner child alive...
There's one more thing Richard has done every year... He has been saving the cards he received for Christmases for 40 plus years... and he would tape a border around several door frames in the house... the big one going from the dining room to the family room... and from dining room to laundry room, from the kitchen into the music room, and the doors from the family room to the hall and to the front door... He lost all the cards in the flood... they were in the trunks with all our Christmas things...
I got out of the habit of sending Christmas cards after Cara died... so I don't expect to receive many and that's fair... I'm not asking for myself really... Honestly it took me a while to feel like living... During that time Richard is the main one who helped me survive... I really want to do something for him... and I'd truly appreciate your help... Will you send Richard and I a Christmas Card so he'll have cards to frame the doorway here in our FEMA trailer... I promise it will be treasured and appreciated.
If you want to send a card please send it to:
Richard and Elissa Smith
10515 Tallowwood Ave
Baker, LA 70714
I am not asking for gifts or money. We do not need anything. I could go out and buy some Christmas Cards. We're not rich but we're not broke either. I just know that you all caring will mean so much to both of us.
Thank You,
Elissa Smith
Replies
Oh Lord Elissa! I had tears as I read this. Hubs, Tony, and I will send a card to you and Richard tomorrow.
Bless you and yours
Terri n Tony
<3
Oh my you are so much like me when it comes to Christmas. I have not wanted to decorate since Jerred died 24 years ago so my boys took over and had a blast and did a great job they did get better as the years past but now for the last 7 years I have had to do it myself and the only and I do mean only reason I doit is for my grandkids. Yesterday I had all 3 of them here for 3 hours so I put my tree together and the lights on and then let them go to town. It is one of the most beautiful trees I have had in years. My card will be in the mail Monday my dear friend.
Hugs and Love ,
Susie and Jerred
Elissa, I know exactly how you feel. After I lost Jason, it took me several years before I could decorate for Christmas again. So glad I can spread a little joy to you and Richard with a card. Its on its way. Love, Katrina
I remember when we lost almost all our Christmas decorations in our flood and this was when I was teaching fifth grade and each of my fifth graders brought an ornament for our tree or a decoration. It just touched our hearts as I had no idea that would happen, yet it did. Each year we would decorate the tree and remember these darling children who came in to save the day. :)
I am so very happy to help with your request and I'm delighted you asked.
Traditions feel important to Richard, and those memories that he carries so here's to your sisters of the heart trying to help in such a small way, yet significant.
Heartfelt (((hugs))) to ALL from Douglas and me,
XO Joanie
You and Richard are truly best friends for life!! You are so blessed!!
As soon as I find my cards, one will be on its way to you both !
The first year after Jenn died, Jim asked me if I was decorating...my reply was: there's a wreath on the front door, what more do you want? It had taken me a few years to put up a tree..my sister finally insisted I do it.. she told me if I didn't, she would ! So, yes I do put up one now.
Hugs, MaryLou
Elissa, what a wonderful wife you are and clearly married to one of the good guys. I would be honored to send you a Christmas card! Christmas is so different now for us SOTHS. This year is the first year I am going to decorate a bit and I know my husband Ken is pleased. He loved Ed, but did not raise him as this is my second marriage. His journey of losing Ed is different than mine. I guess I am learning I should make a bit of joy for Ken even though I am still not feeling it. Your selflessness for your husband's needs is a great example for me. Thank you. Love to you and Cara, Linda
I had to wait till my eyes stopped leaking to find a card,,,, tisn't much,,, I have cards that my grand daughter plays with.... on it's way....Nora
I do not send out Christmas cards. Haven't since Jason died. Your journal here and sharing it on fb gave me a glimpse into a relationship between two people, for better or for worse, who care.
I mailed one to you and Richard on Monday. Not sure if it will get to you in time, but it's on it's way...
tightest of hugs, Merrilee