An explanation, of sorts

I hope I haven't disappointed or upset anyone with my previous journal post this morning.  I was quite upset when I wrote it and really just had to get things off my chest.  In the past, I would have deleted it after the venting was over, but that has acquired an aspect of dishonesty in being and showing who I am.  In my quest for personal truth and honesty, that is no longer acceptable.  So I bare it all and hope others will understand.  If someone doesn't, so be it.  I shall be true to myself. My past is far from pristine and I have worked very hard to overcome many issues, all ego-related.  However, I am still human, in possession of (and sometimes possessed by) a rather virile ego, and I am subject to the frailties of that condition.   There are three things that are real hot-buttons for me: mistreatment of those who cannot defend themselves, mindless action, and conscious ignorance.  In the case of my Beloved's mother, all three have been pushed several times over the past couple of weeks.  As a result, the ego flared, demanded attention, got control, and I regressed for a moment.  Actually, several moments.  OK, I'm still there.  I'm working on it.  OK? Blessings, love, compassion, understanding, and guidance do work in all cases.  The unfortunate truth, though, is that process is often a slow one.  In this case, much too slow.  Mom needs proper care right now.  In fact, proper care has been delayed much too long.  She may not get better with it, but she will certainly not improve without it.  I've seen dogs in the county pound treated with more consideration and compassion than I've seen her given at a place that has "Care Center" in its name. Egos are like spoiled little children.  Sometimes if you are busy and don't have time to deal with their whining and crying, you just have to give them what they want to shut them up.  That was what the previous post was.  A lollipop for an outraged ego that wanted very badly to beat the stupidity of the world into submission.  Now that it is sucking on that lollipop the heart can get back to work finding a real solution to the issues. ~sigh~  The games we must play, with others and ourselves.