An epiphony and feeling thankful

After I cleaned up the "parrot poop" on my shoulder and smiled at the great support I have found with my new team here, I started thinking. This colonoscopy feels like the "big one" because if it is clear, or even if they find a precancerous growth and remove it, I have a good chance of shaking the feeling of doom that has hung over me since I hit 49 and started thinking that anyday now I could be dying of colon cancer like my Dad. I was always so sure that because I was "just like my daddy" that his fate was the only one destined for me. It's almost like I was trying to make it so by drinking "just like my daddy". A self-fulfilling prophecy.
I have been a risk taker because I felt pressured to fit everything in I could because I was sure that I was running out of time and did not want to hear that diagnosis and know that I had missed my opportunity at one more thrill.
I am "just like my daddy", but I am sober and have been most of the time I was raising my son, because I didn't want him going through what I went through. I am "just like my daddy" because I am smart (he was brilliant), I am witty (he taught me wit), I am determined (because he told me that I could do anything a man could do, but I might just have to work harder to do it), I give the best hugs (because his arms were always open), I can cook like mad (because he loved to cook and had the patience of a saint). There are so many ways that I am "just like my daddy", but there is one that I refuse to be "just like my daddy" and I know in my heart that my Dad is okay with that. Thank you Dad!! I miss you!