An emotional weekend

So it has been quite a weekend!  Ups and downs.  On Saturday morning, my neighbours and I went door knocking, trying to get our city councilor re-elected.  She is a phenomenal lady who is passionate about creating livable neighbourhoods in the inner city (our condo is a 15 minute walk to the city centre).  it is the 3rd time I have been out but the first time in the pouring rain!  We figured that people should be impressed because we were soaking wet!  The impressive part was that Druh, the councilor was out with us and just as wet!  She is one gutsy lady, all 90 pounds of her!!
On Saturday evening, I was invited to an impromptu Hen Party in Red Deer, about 1.5 hours away.  So after drying off and packing, we headed North!  My dear friend Marie remembered it was my birthday.  She also has a friend Ula who is from Germany and is going back home this weekend.  She decided to have a party for Ula and me; there were about a dozen of us!  We had a great time - a lot of food, wine and wonderful conversation!  Joe and Marie's husband were relegated to the basement to play pool!
That was the good part.  The downside was that Marie's daughter Suzie was there.  Suze had lap band surgery - she has had problems but is now doing alright.  I love Suzie dearly - she and Lisa knew each other well.  I am absolutely happy for her but it brings up such emotions.  Why can't Lisa be alive, healthy and happy?  Why why why?????  Of course, I never let them know how much it bothers me; and I realize how dangerous it was for her to be so heavy.  Suzie made Lisa looked slim! 
Then, this morning, we went for breakfast and gave a gift to William, the 3 month old baby of a dear friend of Lisa's (Lisa was a bridesmaid).  Jena has tried for years to get pregnant - in fact she and Lisa discussed their experiences.  Lisa and Jena were both trying to get pregnant shortly before Lisa died.  Her baby William is beautiful, and I know Lisa is thrilled for Jena.  Jena is so happy and I am happy for her.  But of course, I can't help thinking that Lisa should be here with a new baby too.  She loved kids so much and wanted so much to have a sibling for Cevyn.
So I cried for the hour and a half trip home. 
This evening we went to visit our neighbours and friends.  We are 3 couples who are a bit off beat.  Jack loves politics and reads voraciously.  Joe (my husband) is a bit quirky but very well read - he is very quiet until something sparks his interest and he expresses himself very well.  Wayne is also quiet but when he has something to say, he is not shy.  Adriana, Wayne's wife is quiet and mostly listens without expressing her feelings.  Leslie and I are more vocal.  We don't let the men monopolize the conversation.  it is always intellectually stimulating when we get together.  I am not sure how intellectual we are after copious amounts of wine! These friends also are very understanding about Lisa and have no problem talking about her with us.  The wonderful thing about our little group is that we do not get defensive, even though we often disagree vehemently!   We are so blessed to have one another.
The other thing that is so amazing is that Jack, Leslie and I have begun attending the Buddhist services in the temple in our neighbourhood.  Joe has chosen not to go.  Adriana is interested in attending - her husband has chosen not to go.  The awesome thing is that nobody feels obligated to do anything - no chastising, but total respect for each others' opinions and feelings. 
I have lost a daughter and I will probably cry almost daily until we are united.  But on the upside, we have made friends who share our values and care about us, as we do them!  I wonder how much Lisa had a hand in that!
 
Lisa my dear sweet daughter.  I know you are here in sprit and I know youw were with Jena, William and Us this morning.  He is such a beautiful boy - I can't help believing that you had some hand in the whole process.  I just wish you and Jena could have been comparing babes.  Some times, I just can't fathom why things happen.  I know some day it will all make sense. 
I have been told that we are hear to learn a lesson.  I wish you had not been such a quick learner. 
I miss you always and love you forever  Mummy