an emotional day
tuesday;12:40 am UK timeyesterday went so quickly.we were so busy at work.so indulged with my work that i don't even remember what exactly happened.but one person who i looked after for about 5 hours left special place in my heart today.he received a bad news from his surgeon and i was there during that time.i saw the pain in him when he told me:'it is ok but ,my poor family!'.it left me speechless...i don't know what to say...i managed to hold my tears back.i held his hand tight nd as i was doing that... memories of my own experience flashes back...that was a difficult moment for me too and i can just really feel for them especially when i spoke to his two daughters.i took that patient back to his room with a heavy heart! sometimes i feel like gving up my job especially now that i know i'm still grieving and i think in a way it doesn't really help looking after this type of patient.but i can't choose who i have to look after to.i have to put aside my own emotional dealings.i really have no choice at the moment.after my shift(8pm) i walked home(had crying spells during this time)but didn't go straight home.. i went to visit first a friend who lives nearby;had my supper there;had a little chat with her(sad story about a common friend was told!) and had helped her put her small children to sleep ( that lightened me up a little bit).i had to say goodbye at about 11 pm (before any bad stories about other people get told). what a day!!!!!!!!!!!!!