Amazing how long its been since you've been gone
Dearest Roger
Thank you for all the fun times we had. Thank you for the Rogue River trip, the Colorado National Monument trip, Mesa, and Pina Mesa, thank you for the archery shoots we used to share and have so much fun at, and thank you for all the trail rides we took on Nece and Moon.
I am so sorry it had to end in us not getting to go to Alaska, at least you got to go Caribou hunting there. I am so going to go.
I wish it would not have ended the way it did. I wished it would have more peaceful saying goodbye instead of all the drama your kids caused.
I can not believe its been over a year. I thought the time would never get going, it seemed to take forever, many trials, tribulations, heartaches, hassles, worries and stresses along the way letting go of you. I feel I have let go of the worst part of the letting go. Now I can keep the good part of the US - the part I will never let go of.
I feel after this year: One year 2 months and 10 days I have more peaceful days of missing you. I still have the stress of the financial part which you left me & I can still be mad at you for - because I asked you to make sure it would not be. I am making decisions I have to make: some I do not want to ever but some I do.
But most of all the alone part without my partner that I thought I would be with until old old age. I just feet I am too young to be alone this early in life but do not want to find anyone else really but I do not want to be alone ....its too darn lonely. It is said Let Go Let God - he has something in store for you but so far I have not liked what has been. SO I god I deserve something better than this financial monkey on my back and I deserve something better than this loneliness so in your Name Jesus give me back financial security and fix the loneliness.
Tandra came over and with Kathy we went out to where you bar tended Roger, we had such a good time - talking, telling jokes, watching and visiting with the locals we knew. I really really laughed that night - and was shocked at how good it felt. And when it was quiet again I wanted more.
Thank you for all the fun times we had. Thank you for the Rogue River trip, the Colorado National Monument trip, Mesa, and Pina Mesa, thank you for the archery shoots we used to share and have so much fun at, and thank you for all the trail rides we took on Nece and Moon.
I am so sorry it had to end in us not getting to go to Alaska, at least you got to go Caribou hunting there. I am so going to go.
I wish it would not have ended the way it did. I wished it would have more peaceful saying goodbye instead of all the drama your kids caused.
I can not believe its been over a year. I thought the time would never get going, it seemed to take forever, many trials, tribulations, heartaches, hassles, worries and stresses along the way letting go of you. I feel I have let go of the worst part of the letting go. Now I can keep the good part of the US - the part I will never let go of.
I feel after this year: One year 2 months and 10 days I have more peaceful days of missing you. I still have the stress of the financial part which you left me & I can still be mad at you for - because I asked you to make sure it would not be. I am making decisions I have to make: some I do not want to ever but some I do.
But most of all the alone part without my partner that I thought I would be with until old old age. I just feet I am too young to be alone this early in life but do not want to find anyone else really but I do not want to be alone ....its too darn lonely. It is said Let Go Let God - he has something in store for you but so far I have not liked what has been. SO I god I deserve something better than this financial monkey on my back and I deserve something better than this loneliness so in your Name Jesus give me back financial security and fix the loneliness.
Tandra came over and with Kathy we went out to where you bar tended Roger, we had such a good time - talking, telling jokes, watching and visiting with the locals we knew. I really really laughed that night - and was shocked at how good it felt. And when it was quiet again I wanted more.
Replies