AMAZING

I just got done reading my posts over the last several years and how much things have changed.  I remember the dark days, the blogging, chat rooms, DS threads, Jim Beam and diet coke every Friday night until very very very early (or late depending on how you look at it) on Saturday morning...let's just say I got to see the sun rise!!  LOL!!!  I moved to Wisconsin more to have a place to live than anything and then come to find out I could have lived in my house for another 8 months as it took them that long to foreclose!!!!  I even had to threaten th law firm with my own lawsuit for them to get the sale done!!  Lived with my mom in a 2 bedroom condo for about a year (I love her - but at 38 that was not the most fun in the world) this arrangement really kept me from dating as it's not exactly a poster for "date me".....I'm 38 and live with my mom!!!!  LOL!!!  Oh yeah - AND...I have no job!!   LMAO!!  I found a job soon after and started working for Lowes - yo know the home improvement store!  Turns out there was this cute girl back in receiving who really liked me and was "chasing me" for about 6 months and I was so blind to it that I never realizxed it until she made it very blunt by telling me "well-I;ve given you my number three times and you've nbever called!!! " that was of course in response to a silly flirt which I had been doing all along!  Turns out we had a lot in common, so much so that we started dating and a couple years later I proposed on Christmas Everight in front of all her family and my mom and sister VERY much to her surprise!!  She of course said yes and a year later we were married.  There's not a day which goes by i don't thank God for her, her compassion, her support, her love, her guidance and heart-felt understanding.  I started my own photography business which I work as a secondary business and sometimes does dig into our time but she understands and supports it...she is evenb interested in it and comes along when I do a wedding sometimes as my assistant!!  LOL!!!  She has 3 kids from a previous marriage and I surprised everyone during the wedding ceremony when I asked them all three to come up to the altar and I said vows to them as well...I gave them each a necklace as a committment to them of my love and understanding and thanked them for sharing their mom and opening up their hearts to me.  Needless to say I got a round of applause for that move, my stock defintely went up with Angie and she was just crying happy tears like crazy on the altar...I love her kids and they are truly great.  I only wish their real dad would support them better.  They have 50/50 customdy and I pray everyday thet God would change his heart.  Hes much older than my wife and he is a "system player" unfortunately the middle boy is learning this trait and we are trying o help him understand this will not lead hoim where he wants to go, but he desires the love ans acceptance of his father so much he is torn between the two houses.  The oldest has finally started coming out of her shell and is opeingin up to her emotions and feelings. She amazed me a few weeks ago after a emotion moment during dinner and about an hour later came downstairs and just asked for a hug.  She said she just needs a hug and she held on for dear life...it was a real breakthrough moment.  Since then she rarely misses an opportunity for a hug and while she won't return the "I love you's" I give her I know she does.  She is a joy and while she is 16 and a challenge she is also an amazing blessing...I see her mothers stregth in her and her mothers compassion.  The youngest is a cutey, see comes to me a year ago and asks me if it's ok that she calls me "dad"...then asks me (so she can keep them apart) if I wanna be called "dad" or "daddy"!!!  Well - for all you dad's out there - you know my answer - I mean daddy's little girl is exactly what she is to me.  SHe really has me wrapped around her little finger.  I am concerned about her anger issues and her brothers and sisters and truly her father thave not always been the kindest and she has developed a think skin with some very troubling anger issues.  I try to help her see, but at 10 I know she is a little younf to undersdtand some things also and I hope grows out of it.  Over all I have my life back.  I have a job right now which I was transferred into - not of my own choice - which I truly hate nbut I have recently been presented with an opportunity which may bear fruit and I go for a second interview tonight!!  I am excited and it's funny because many of the things I have been doing for the past 10-=15 years have kinda prepared me for this position.  I hope this is God's path for me and I do have a peace (although a little nervous about change as it would be pure commission based) but believe if it works out...God will bless me as he did Jabez      " Oh God that you would bless me "INDEED" - meaning a lot - "and enlarge my territory" - give me more to handle and give back to you - "that your hand would be with me" - that you and your grace and Holy Spirit would guide me and help me - "and that wou would keep me from evil that I may not cause pain" - I would not do wrong or resist the temptation of doing wrong!  I ask anyone who reads this to say a prayer for my family and myself - I hope this message gives you hope and joy knowing the answers and the future is out there...no matter what you are goign through God will find you, God will guide you and God will bless you if you let him!!