AM I THE MODERN DAY JOB?
...That sure is what I feel like!....
I've lost everything...lost control of everything...I've even lost the ability to control my bodily functions...(this morning, I woke up in puddle of my own fucking urine...I pissed on myself in my sleep!!!...how stupid is that? )...
I wanted to go to my mom's house to see my BabyKitty, but I don't have enough money to catch the bus...I certainly don't have the money$ to get the 10!, yes I said TEN medications that my doctor has prescribed!...I don't even have money to buy any food to eat!!!!!!!!
Last night, I had a 100 degree fever...my entire body hurts...my sinuses are so swollen and I am so fucking congested that I can't breath!!! ...I've had a headache for the past week!...not to mention my blood pressure which is through the roof!!!...my depression and anxiety levels aren't through the roof, they're through the atmosphere into outer space!!!...and no, I am NOT KIDDING...I live in a state of constant panic/anxiety attacks!!!...I have nobody to talk to...I can't help my 94 y/o mom, cause I can't even take care of myself!...I don't want to ask anyone for help because of my pride!...I just don't know what to do anymore!!!
...or...maybe...maybe I am just being stupidly stubborn...cause I THINK I know what GOD wants me to do...but I don't want to do it!!! ...SO!...what the fuck do I do!?
Continue to live this life of overwhelming sorrow ...or... do I answer THE CALL...and just do what I am being called to do? ...
GOD!!!...this shit sucks!!!!...
Well?
that's all folks!...i'm going back to bed!...hopefully I won't piss on myself again!!!!!!!!!
I've lost everything...lost control of everything...I've even lost the ability to control my bodily functions...(this morning, I woke up in puddle of my own fucking urine...I pissed on myself in my sleep!!!...how stupid is that? )...
I wanted to go to my mom's house to see my BabyKitty, but I don't have enough money to catch the bus...I certainly don't have the money$ to get the 10!, yes I said TEN medications that my doctor has prescribed!...I don't even have money to buy any food to eat!!!!!!!!
Last night, I had a 100 degree fever...my entire body hurts...my sinuses are so swollen and I am so fucking congested that I can't breath!!! ...I've had a headache for the past week!...not to mention my blood pressure which is through the roof!!!...my depression and anxiety levels aren't through the roof, they're through the atmosphere into outer space!!!...and no, I am NOT KIDDING...I live in a state of constant panic/anxiety attacks!!!...I have nobody to talk to...I can't help my 94 y/o mom, cause I can't even take care of myself!...I don't want to ask anyone for help because of my pride!...I just don't know what to do anymore!!!
...or...maybe...maybe I am just being stupidly stubborn...cause I THINK I know what GOD wants me to do...but I don't want to do it!!! ...SO!...what the fuck do I do!?
Continue to live this life of overwhelming sorrow ...or... do I answer THE CALL...and just do what I am being called to do? ...
GOD!!!...this shit sucks!!!!...
Well?
that's all folks!...i'm going back to bed!...hopefully I won't piss on myself again!!!!!!!!!
Replies
I am so sorry to read your post. You are so young to be in such turmoil. May I ask what brought you to where you are today? I know what it\'s like to have no one to talk to. I always tell myself that there are people out there worse off than me and everyday is to be taken one day at a time and one foot in front of the other. I hope that doesn\'t sound stupid or lame and believe me...I find that hard to do sometimes myself. If you ever want to talk...hit me up. I hope today gets better for you.
Please apply for Food Stamps or S.N.A.P. in your state. There is help there. From what you said they might even be able to get you cash assist. They can also help with medical bills and medicine. Please check it out in your state. I have food stamps. My wife works. Your state can help. It hurts me to know you are in such pain. You can claim your mom as a dependent as well.
http://benefitsapplication.com/program_info/TX/Food%20Stamps/?gclid=CLXk2NqghbgCFcXKtAodwlwA6Q
Try that website. It should help. May God be with you and your Mom always.
Jim