Am I done grieving

Its been a few years since I've touched base and to be honest I'm not sure if I'm here for me tonight or to shed light for others down the road.

It's been nearly a decade since disclosure.  For those who do not know our story I will give a very brief rundown.  On thanksgiving 2007 my youngest (barely 8 at the time) son disclosed that his uncle (my sisters husband) fondled him.  Needless to say thanksgiving has never been the same for our family.  There is just too much detail to include over the years on this post but I have to say aside from the rage and bitterness of having my childrens innocence stripped away the thing that hurt the most was the way the extended family has been in denial.  Particularly my mother.  She went from flat out denying it happend to admitting it happened but it would never happen again because he learned his lesson.  Over the years she would apolgize for her behavior only to go back in a rage and blame us for her family falling apart.  I did my best to stay in contact for several years but eventually had to pull away for my own mental sanity.  At best we see each other 2 or 3 times a year (we live just a few miles away from each other), usually at the encouragement of my boys (now 17, 19 & 21).  Well today as my youngest and I were headed out for a pizza at lunch time he asked if we could invite grandma.  She hasn't answered one of my phone calls in years but I tell him sure give her a call.  Despite our animosity towards each other, my boys have somehow managed to stay on somewhat good terms with her.  They are fantastic kids!  

She did meet us for lunch today and for the first time in 10 years I noticed, really noticed how much she's aged.  She is looking weak and frail.  Her once thick head of hair is severly thinning and she needs several medical precedures in the near future.  This really got me to thinking...have I really grieved this relationship like I think I have?  When I see her I feel nothing.  Not good, not bad, nothing indifferent.  It's quite sad really, a daughter should not feel that way about her mother, but I do.  During the turmoil of the abuse I have lost track of how old she is, maybe 75?  While longevity runs in her family (her mother passed away 3 months shy of her 100th birthday last year.  She lived independently, drove and was extremely healthy until 2 weeks before her passing) after I saw my mother today I wonder if she will make it to 80.  Will I grieve the loss again?  Will anybody in the family tell me if she passes?  Will I care?  Or will it be the final sigh to the end of the drama from this aftermath?