Always Triggered
I haven't been bullied as of late, but I can't help the feeling that people talk about nasty things about me behind my back. I even suspect some of my friends of doing this, but I'm too scared to confront anyone. I don't have a lot of friends that I trust. No one really knows the true me. I walk the hallways in school, alone, sometimes faking a smile at my "friends".
Today, like any other day, I hear a group of girls giggling away behind me. And, as always, I feel like they're making fun of me, and that's the reason behind their laughter. I turn around and see that one girl is whispering to the other with her hand covering her mouth. I don't know if she made eye contact with me or not, but I could have sworn that they were talking about me...?
Being in public, surrounded by girls like them who giggle and laugh and share secrets, it bothers me to the point where I can't leave my house. I'd much rather stay indoors and sleep all day, than be made fun of by others. They probably were talking and laughing about someone or something else but I can't help but think that everyone around me notices all of my flaws and imperfections and my disgusting existence.
I have at least four panic attacks when I'm at school. I can't handle being in social situations, I really just can't deal with being surrounded by people. I always think that everyone around me hates me and wants to get rid of me because I'm worthless, and everyone sees me as an untalented freak.
Today, like any other day, I hear a group of girls giggling away behind me. And, as always, I feel like they're making fun of me, and that's the reason behind their laughter. I turn around and see that one girl is whispering to the other with her hand covering her mouth. I don't know if she made eye contact with me or not, but I could have sworn that they were talking about me...?
Being in public, surrounded by girls like them who giggle and laugh and share secrets, it bothers me to the point where I can't leave my house. I'd much rather stay indoors and sleep all day, than be made fun of by others. They probably were talking and laughing about someone or something else but I can't help but think that everyone around me notices all of my flaws and imperfections and my disgusting existence.
I have at least four panic attacks when I'm at school. I can't handle being in social situations, I really just can't deal with being surrounded by people. I always think that everyone around me hates me and wants to get rid of me because I'm worthless, and everyone sees me as an untalented freak.
Replies
What is done in darkness will be exposed in the light. If people are being two faced and talking behind your back, then eventually they will be caught. You can\'t concern yourself with them. You have to let it happen naturally. It gives them power when you react to their nonsense. That\'s all they are is nonsense and you\'re better than that. You have been through so much already and don\'t deserve to have people being rude to you.
Just try your hardest to not let yourself be affected by them. They aren\'t worth it.
And you are NOT worthless. Never ever