Always feeling awkward...

I have always been the girl who felt like she hung out with people that were above her. I never felt good enough. Never felt smart enough. I always wanted to be popular but was instead made fun of by the popular people in elementary school. I grew more into my skin in high school. But I still feel like that girl that is never good enough. I talk to classmates at school (Im in grad school) and I feel like they are smarter than me, prettier than me, speak better than I do, get better grades (which is so stupid because I get straight A's..why don't I ever feel like I deserve them?!). I am sick of feeling fat, short, stupid, and just overall not good enough. I stumble over my words I trip over things....but thats okay..It's me...I need to learn to accept that. I have anxiety, depression, thyroid disease, and I feel lonely..Like no one understands me. Why do I always feel so low? Why has my life been like this? I am saddnened that I just don't feel good enough. My boyfriend always wonders why I am like this..I had the hardest time accepting that he actually loved me. I kept asking "Why do you love me?"  On another note - I should be getting my blood work back tomorrow! Hopefully!! The doctor was checking my thyroid extensively as well as looking at my cortisal levels and checking me for a few other autoimmune diseases. We shall see what comes out of it. I am so scared for him to call me and say "You're levels are fine, You are fine no medications needed" I will be pissed. I have Hashimotos and I am so tired all the time..My brain concentration and memory sucks these days, I get lightheaded, I have sensitivity to the cold, mood swings....I could go on but I won't. I just want my life back!