Alone for Thanksgiving

My dad passed away November 16, 2004 and my mom on December 1, 2006. My husband and I separated in November, 2007. Prior to 2004, I had family to be thankful for during the holidays. This year, I'm spending some time with my husband, who has major health problems for which he makes excuses why he's not seeing a doctor and getting the treatment he needs. Finances have been extremely tight for both of us lately. We're both approaching age 60--I'll turn 58 on December 20. While I don't doubt that there are  people who are worse off than we are, still, I'm feeling sad and depressed. In 1992, I moved with my husband to an area 130 miles away from my hometown where I'd lived most of my life. It never occurred to me that the day would come when moving back would not be an option. I miss my hometown and the people I grew up with there. I don't have money for gas to go and visit. I feel guilty about not visiting the cemetery where my parents are buried since their funerals. I don't know many people in this area. Coworkers ask the casual question about how I'm spending a weekend or holiday, but none of them have  suggested I join them even when I shared I wasn't doing much of anything. I just found out 2 days ago I'm being sued, and there's a hearing on December 12. I owe $850 on a credit card I hadn't heard anything from since 2011. I'm already trying to make payments on $1250 of car repairs that had to be done in September--I still owe $900 to them. It never seems to end. I used to feel hope that tomorrow had a chance of being better--now it seems that many of my dreams of what I wanted to accomplish, I don't have the energy for even if an opportunity presented itself. Since my employer's new health insurance provider does not include mental health coverage until the $2500 deductible is paid, even having a therapist to see and a shrink to prescribe my psych meds, something I took for granted in the past, is going to require a meeting with the county MH/MR this year. I worked hard at my job for 14 years, and yet I feel so unappreciated and unvalued as a person. I can't remember the last time I shared a meal with someone, either at home or in a restaurant. A year ago I overdosed on some pills, then had some treatment, received a "Certificate of Completion". I can function from day to day, but my life seems empty. The holidays always seem to trigger the mind to compare how I'm feeling this year compared with other years. Having no immediate family--I have yet to read anything about how to cope with that. It must be nice to have a CHOICE to be alone or not. As it is, I don't choose to be alone. I'd like to have some people whose company I enjoyed in my life. I know, Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year's are only one day each. Certainly I can do the exercise: Yes, I have a gratitude list, but it feels shallow. Maybe tomorrow will be better...