Almost a Year
Someone posted the following quote, and it about sums me up:
"I am somebody, I am me. I like being me. And I don't need anybody to make me somebody." - Louis L'Amore
My husband Richard will be gone a year May 22. My world was turned upside down, my future plans ripped from under me. It has been a slow, painful, rebuild, but one I am content with.
Yes, I kept my home and have no plans to leave it. I am provided for, embracing the memories, and have no plans to change my address. I have kept my former friends. Most are married, but I still fit into their lives. I have made new friends that are unattached and living on their own. They are the friends I have gained strength from and continue to realize that I can have a fulfilled life on my own, doing what I want, when I want, and how I want. However, I must realize that there are people in need and have plans to return to my volunteer position in the hospital emergency department.
The calendar is full through the end of June. Also tying up plans for the one-year anniversary graveside service for my husband. God broke the mold when he made this man. A man of honor, respect, devotion, loving, caring and a great dancer. This day cannot pass without acknowledging one of God's beautiful creatures that was destroyed by the ravaging of cancer.
Honey, as you can see, I am doing OK. Forever your partner. I love you more than yesterday, but not half as much as tomorrow.
Debbie
"I am somebody, I am me. I like being me. And I don't need anybody to make me somebody." - Louis L'Amore
My husband Richard will be gone a year May 22. My world was turned upside down, my future plans ripped from under me. It has been a slow, painful, rebuild, but one I am content with.
Yes, I kept my home and have no plans to leave it. I am provided for, embracing the memories, and have no plans to change my address. I have kept my former friends. Most are married, but I still fit into their lives. I have made new friends that are unattached and living on their own. They are the friends I have gained strength from and continue to realize that I can have a fulfilled life on my own, doing what I want, when I want, and how I want. However, I must realize that there are people in need and have plans to return to my volunteer position in the hospital emergency department.
The calendar is full through the end of June. Also tying up plans for the one-year anniversary graveside service for my husband. God broke the mold when he made this man. A man of honor, respect, devotion, loving, caring and a great dancer. This day cannot pass without acknowledging one of God's beautiful creatures that was destroyed by the ravaging of cancer.
Honey, as you can see, I am doing OK. Forever your partner. I love you more than yesterday, but not half as much as tomorrow.
Debbie
Replies
Hey Debbie, I really admire your feelings for your husband. I feel so similar about my wife, Pattie, who also is a victim of the dreaded cancer, it\'s amazing how I feel just how you do! I am so interested when you write, because I feel like \"Wow, someone who feels like me!\" i get inspired by a lot of what youwrite...Thank you for SHARING how you feel. You are so very inspiring to me!! your friend- Sam
I didn\'t realize the impact my journal entry would have on anyone, Sam. However, if you are gaining inspiration from it, I am very pleased that this is happening. I have always been a person of truth as to sharing what is going on in my soul. I don\'t ever make things up and write them to sound good or make me look good. If that were the case, what\'s the point? Is it going to benefit me or anyone else?
I am in the phase now where I am enjoying being on my own in this world, which is scary to say the least. Sometimes I believe the world is coming to an end sooner than we all expect. And if that\'s the case, Dick has his running shoes on and I\'m ready.
You\'ve done really well in not quite a year. It gives me hope that I will be standing on my own two feet at some point sooner rather than later.
Hugs, Gail
Debbie, I was the one that posted that quote...I am really big on quotes for strength. I am very encouraged by your journal and you sound like a very strong woman. One to follow as an example. Your husband sounds like he was a wonderful man. As you plan his one year anniversary I am planning my husband\'s burial of his ashes over Memorial. He was a Vietnam Vet and I felt it more than appropriate to do it that weekend. He was a good soldier and a great husband, Father and Grandfather and is dearly missed by anyone\'s life he touched....Hugs Ellen
Ellen, I loved that quote so much I made copies and had them laminated. I carry one in my wallet and the other is pasted to my computer screen. Thanks for the compliment and encouragement. I hope you have a beautiful memorial ceremony.
Debbie
Debbie - I remember when you first posted - not knowing if you even wanted to stay in your home. You have come a long way, and I applaud you. I know a lot of thinking and tears - and prayer- have brought you from there to here. I love your way of looking at things, your viewpoint. You took strength from others, but it was really inside of you all along. I think along the same lines. Hugs, Marsha