Almost a Year

This has been the hardest month in this journey.  On March 15 of last year my husband went to work and never came back.  He suffered an aneurysm and died 15 days later.  A year later I'm haunted by the events leading up to the day.  I remember our happy times: shopping, being together, studying, just everything about this month.
I can't seem to escape.  Sometimes I remember whole days, snapshots of events: Him holding two bags of chips in his hands in the store.  Him calling me from work, telling me how much he loved me.  Him walking through the door, kissing me.  Him watching television while I try to write.  I see the dog wagging her tail following him through our apartment and it's like I'm back there for just a moment.   So many memories, now bittersweet.
My life is so different now:  new apartment.  new dog.  new furniture, but my love for my husband is unchanged.  My soul crys out for it's other half, but I am here and he is in Heaven.   So I live. 
The only thing that seems to help is knowing that April is coming and with it, freedom from the firsts.  There will be no more first this or that in April.   I will leave the past where it belongs, and move forward emotionally. But March is a killer.