Almost 5 months

John, It's almost 5 months since you have been gone.  I have met a terrific friend someone who doesn't let me get away with anything he calls it like it is.  He has been a huge support for me and maybe I have leaned on him a little too much and become too needy.  Learning to stand on my own two feet has been really hard but I am surviving.  Although you already know that, I feel your presence around me all the time.  Learning to make decisions on my own without your input has become quite a chore.  The kids and grandkids miss you so much.  Alexa's teacher at school told her she knew a Johnny Jimenez so Alexa asked me if I knew him.  The tears just started flowing she thought she had said something wrong, poor baby.  Then we had to explain to her that her pops was known to some as Johnny although you hated being called Johnny.  Chad and Jessica are doing fine they are looking to buy a house for when they start their own little family you would be so proud of him.  He adores her you taught him well. Kristy and Lance are the cutest couple he changed his tone of voice to her and she just looked at him poor thing he didn't know what he did wrong.  He asked her if anyone ever fussed her and she told him no.  Your little princess that did no wrong sure does miss her daddy.  Heather tore a muscle in her leg this past week reminds me of you always pushing herself to see just how far she can go.  Sometimes it is to the extreme.  I know that is what happened to you if you wouldn't have pushed yourself on that bike to beat your time who knows, but I know God thought it was your time to go I just wish he would have been wrong for once.  Need to make some changes in my life. I am going to Ohio to meet some great widows that I have met here.  Just not sure if I will make the changes before or after.  Looking to buy that Red Convertible Bug you wanted me to have or maybe that BMW that you wanted LOL.  I know it would be a waste of money that could be put to better use on something else (like Kristy's wedding in the future).  She keeps telling me Mom you better put some money aside for my wedding, it's like Kristy you aren't even engaged, she said I know but don't spend it OK.  Told her I might need it for my own wedding, she didn't think that was funny, but I did.  We both know that one day I will meet someone special I hope and cherish the rest of our lives together.  We always thought we would grow old together but that didn't happen.  I will grow old alone not something I am looking forward too.  But now adays I can't say that there is much I look forward too anyway.  Donna will be traveling with me and she is so looking forward to it.  So I now have a travel partner and I think the two of us may get into a little trouble together what you think.  Two single women from Louisiana that is pretty bad huh, LOL.  You know us better than anyone though we might think it, but would never do  it,  to honest I guess.  Well my love this is all the news for now.  Oh I forgot to tell you I did something pretty crazy today, I put my picture on Match.com can you believe it me.  I will probably never respond to anyone but who would have ever thought, someone dared me and I did it.  Hope I don't get in too much trouble for doing it.  Life is all about risks and if you don't take a chance you may never know what could have been.  Miss you my love. Dra'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctfGDMbYrJs&feature=share