All Over the Place- Manic Entry

I was up (really high emotionally) this morning at 7am, went to the store, came home and emotionally crashed and slept for an hour, woke up and was groggy till after dinner, now it's almost 11pm and I'm flying high again emotionally. Whee! I don't know what to do with all this energy. I know I'm going to have to take some klonopin soon... I can't be up like this all night or else I'm not going to sleep at all. I can't do that. I need to sleep, even if it is only 6 hours or so like last night. I'm typing fast, almost as fast as I can, but I'm making a lot of typos and I'm a perfectionist when it comes to typed stuff so I'm going back and erasing half the stuff I'm writing just to make sure there are no typos. I also have spell check, so it shouldn't be a big deal, but I just want to make sure that everything is spelled right. Don't mind me, I'm kinda insane right now and don't really know what's going on inside my head. I know I need to write a journal, so here I am writing a journal but I don't know what to write. I'm just typing random stuff onto the keyboard. My brain is going so fast I'm getting dizzy- literally. I feel kinda nauseous. I need to slow down and calm down and the only way I know how to do that is klonopin but I don't want to get up and take some. I have some here by my bed that I could take, and I'm getting more tomorrow but I don't want to take it since it's going to make me sleep and I don't want to sleep I want to be happy and high like this. No, I'm not on drugs. I take my meds, I don't do illegal drugs and I never have and never will. 
Okay that paragraph above is long enough so I'm going to start a new one. I know I'm rambling about nothing in particular, but someone said I should just do a journal when I'm like this to see what comes out and so this is what comes out. I say a bunch of nonsensical redundant stuff. I was planning on talking about... I don't know what I was planning on talking about. All I did today was go to the store and try and sleep and not sleep except for the hour I slept. I need to go to Target tomorrow and get my pills. I got my medicaid card in the mail today so I can get my pills. I need to see the doctor. I think if this keeps up for another day I'm going to go to the clinic and tell them I need to see a doctor ASAP and that I can't wait until the 25th to see the doctor. I'm scared because I know that they are going to want to put me on a mood stablizer to prevent hypomania and manias from happening, but I have taken lithium and it made me pee all the time and hurt my kidneys and tegretol didn't do anything so the only thing I have left is Depakote which i don't want to take since it makes you gain a ton of weight and I can't afford to gain any more weight. I weigh enough already. I don't mind my weight as much as I mind the health effects. the more fat you have in your stomach the higher the chance for type 2 diabetes. I forget what the type of fat is called, but it's in your intestines or something. Okay, now this paragraph is long enough
I don't know what is worse- the prosepect of gaining so much weight that I get health issues, or what's going to happen when I crash and come down from this high. Every day I'm getting higher and higher and I don't know what to do to get down besides a mood stablizer or klonopin and I don't want either right now. I know I should take my klonopin it's right here by my bed just a hand's reach away but I don't want to come down from this. I'm having too much fun! And just think of all the calories I'm burning! I feel like I'm going a million miles an hour and almost shaking inside. I know I need to be a good girl and take my pills, but I don't want to. Don't worry, dear readers, I will take my pills and come down, but it just takes me a bit to get my crazy mind back in touch with my rational mind that tells me to take my pills. I think I'm going to soon since my arms are hurting from typing this going back and forth across the keypad. I have one sock on and one sock off and somehow that just feels right. My left foot wants to be free. I know I sound crazy right now, and I probably am, but I don't know. I don't know a lot of things. I'm just letting my fingers do what they want on this keyboard and just type type type. I don't know when I'm going to stop this entry but I probably should soon.
Food- I had a slice of bread with some peanut butter for breakfast, some Greek yogurt for a snack, a pot pie for lunch, and enchiladas and chicken for dinner. I had some ice cream too. I was bad at the store today and got some ice cream for myself but that's not what's causing this. I had a headache and I took some excedrin migraine which has caffeine and I think that's what caused it. it wasn't a good idea, but I wans't feeling like this when I took it and I forgot that I got high like this last night and the night before. okay I just took 3mg of klonopin. I was good and drank my 2L of water today. I went out and sweated a lot so it's good that I drank my water. I also had a strawberry kiwi nectar too I just remembered. i had a lot of things today I guess. Some good some bad. Oh well. I need to end this and calm down. Don't worry people, I'm going to be okay... I just need to calm down and go to sleep. Talk about mood swinging! All this and no illegal drugs- just lack of proper meds.