All my Friends are Dying

My friend recently found out she has PCOS, and to say the least she hasn’t taken it well. Last Thursday, I spent the whole night trying to convince her not to kill herself, and yesterday she threatened suicide again. Normally that would just be upsetting, but then she went as far as to say that we [me and our other friends, this happened during lunch] should just assume she did if she didn’t show up the next day. I panicked, reported this to the school counselor, and now my friend is under supervision of her parents. She told me later that she didn’t really have any plans, but it’s getting so hard to deal with the stress. I’ve done everything I can think to help her for all the nearly 10 years I’ve known her–consoling her when she’s come to me, offering advice on how to cope with her emotions, sending her coping resources of all kinds for her to use, reaching out to anyone and everyone I can think of–but it’s always in vain. I couldn’t bear to just let her go, so I’m not giving up any time soon, but I don’t know what to do anymore.

My other guy friend is suicidal too. He constantly talks about killing himself–and actually has tried at least twice, my girl friend told me last Thursday while I was consoling her that the only reason he’s still around is because “his gun jammed and his noose broke”–and I can never tell if he’s being serious or not. After the last two days, it’s become unbearable.

I worry about telling them how I feel, because I don’t want them to think they can’t talk to me–I don’t know about my guy friend, but my girl friend has explicitly told me that I’m the only person she trusts, evidenced by her apparently telling me more than she even tells her own parents–and even if I told them, judging by what they’ve already said they most likely won’t believe me. Part of me almost misses my early years of being completely isolated without any friends at times like these, but I know I can’t go back; my girl friend “hates herself too much to take care of herself,” and I couldn’t live with a free conscious knowing I abandoned her. I’m completely lost at this point, though; everything is just becoming too much to bear.