All I've Ever Wanted

All i have EVER wanted in life is to be a mother.  I was married 5 years ago, but we decided that it would be best if I worked for 5 years first.  I was okay with that - at least the practical side of me was.Since we were married for "so long" without children, people kept asking when we were going to have kids.  To shut them up, I told them 5 years.  So when 5 years came along, the questions became constant.So FINALLY we were to start trying at the beginning of July.  My husband started having anxiety attacks in mid-June (for unknown reasons, perhaps work related) that have really sidelined him from a lot of social activities.  Once my rock, I had to switch roles and be his rock.  That has not been easy.He's gone to the ER, had tests done, gone to psychiatrists, taken different meds, but he's still not feeling quite right.  I have suffered from depression for the last 10 years and my depression worsened with his condition.  In a nutshell, we have both be a wreck.  One friend of mine suggested that his panicking was baby-related.  That suggestion devestated me.When July came, we started trying to have a baby.  We didn't know how difficult of a process it could be.    The medicine that he is taking is producing sexual side effects.  He is never in the mood and he has trouble "finishing the deed".  I live with a large amount of stress to begin with and I was feeling it more than ever.  It's been 3 months and there's no news to report.  Since everyone knew when we were going to start trying, EVERYONE is asking.  And when I say EVERYONE, I dont just mean family and close friends.  I mean people at work and casual friends.  I just want to ring their necks every time they ask!  I stopped drinking around my friends in July.  I am trying to get pregnant, so that's a natural thing to do.  Well, the guys at work who I eat lunch with started assuming I was pregnant.  I had already decided that I am going to wait awhile to tell anyone, so I wouldn't answer them directly when the flat out ask if I'm pregnant.  They start talking about my baby nonstop.  That wouldn't bother me IF i was actually pregnant!  But don't they know the cardinal rule that you don't ask a woman if she's pregnant?  I guess I already know the answer to that question.  So, one day after I found out I wasn't pregnant, I had a drink with them, just to shut them up.  They were shocked when I ordered a drink because they were convinced that I was pregnant.  I've pretty much stopped going out to lunch with this group of friends because I just feel so uncomfortable and sad that I'm not pregnant.  I don't feel comfortable telling them to shut up, either.  So I'm just avoiding the situation.  I never thought we'd have problems conceiving.  Now it stresses me out that I've read that I'm supposed to wait a YEAR before consulting a doctor?!  At the same time, I'm scared to know how much it would cost to get help from the doctor. For the past 5 years it has just been "a matter of time" before we had a kid.  Now, I'm freaking out cause what if it doesn't happen??