AHA! Triggers!

I noticed last week that whenever those big waves of grief come, they're usually brought on by something... a memory.  So this weekend, I paid attention... I watched what things were going on that set off those memories... a show on tv I like to watch on the weekends, a CD I have in my van of music that reminds me of the past, and a photo I have out.... Some of the things only trigger little waves like a drop of something in a puddle.   I can handle those.... but some of the things trigger monster waves and during that one post, I kept compounding it.   And so I paid attention to those this weekend, stopped my focus on them when I felt the waves getting too big, and then distracted myself with something else.   And it WORKED.   I'm sure I'm going to have "tsunami waves" come once in a while yet, but I think I've found my "barriers" to minimize the "damage"...
And I've been procrastinating.  It's normal for me to "shut down" during grief.... I don't like to exercise during it, even avoid my mountain bike, and tend to put off things I need to get done but don't really feel like doing.   Which isn't good, especially when I NEED the sunshine to keep my SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) away during the winter months.  And I'm STILL sick which makes it all worse because it forces me to stay indoors.   But this week, I'm getting sunshine by taking the time to take the muttleys to the dog park and just standing there in the sun as they play, and I started exercising again.    Thursday, my exercise was only 10 minutes of aerobics in my basement until I started coughing so hard I couldn't breathe... Friday I did the whole thing (YES!), yesterday was the funeral for my niece and since the thoughts were with them all day, all I did was go out and do doggie poop patrol (which is LOTS of bending - especially since I hadn't been able to do this since "the crud" began).   I woke up this morning thinking I was feeling worse, but an hour later, my head and chest became a little clearer, so there is still progress and I plan to try a new fitness DVD today! 
And so regarding the real estate stuff... I haven't been in the mood to do the research yet.  But I WILL. But not today, lol.  I have this list you see, all the stuff that needs to get done that I've been putting it off.... like mopping the floor of the basement (which is HUGE), reorganizing my gym, etc.   It's BAD.  For instance, my son gave me the X's Bowflex and I got a carpet that I want to put down there under it, and right now it's all just clutter.... and my water heater is leaking at this valve that needs replacing every 6 months (and it was last replaced in March - oops a little late), and my animals have made a mess there - which I've cleaned up, but not very well, so the whole area needs a deep down scrubbing before I call my repair guy.   And I don't want to do it...and if I don't do it, I'm going to have a bigger leaking problem.  SO TODAY, I AM GOING TO DO IT whether I want or not to, lol.   Because when I get it done, I AM GOING TO have a good feeling of accomplishment and THAT will push me into doing the stuff I really WANT to do deep down (like that research).    I call this "using my procrastination to accomplishing things".... still moving forward slowly!   Helps too that the weather is sucky today, lol. Well, better get started... Later!